The Real Matt Hancock

I have been forced to declare that this is a parody account. I occasionally say sensible stuff, so you probably could have guessed this isn't the real Hancock

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

Please fill in my simple personality quiz that will automatically tell you whether you are a leave or remain voter.

Would you rather...

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@MattHancock Dom said to me 'how are we going to hit our targets?'

'easy' I chuckled. 'Just count each test 3 times! These guys will buy anything!'

Lol

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@garlict @jitsuschool @ariehkovler @OwenJones84 Exactly! If us arbitrarily telling people they don't need to shield anymore isn't proof that our plans our working, I don't know what is

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@jitsuschool @ariehkovler @OwenJones84 Haha yes and they also said the levels were calculated using science and weren't at all subjective (newsflash, the levels mean nothing)

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@pjr1007 Nope. Believe it or not, we are just morons, there is no grand plan. Does that make you feel better or worse?

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@charlottechurch Wrong again. Did you not see my tweet? Horse racing is now back on! If that doesn't show I care, I don't know what does

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@MattHancock Thank the lord. Cheltenham got us into this mess, Cheltenham can get us out of it.

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@MattHancock @Conservatives Yes we founded it and we pump so much into it... Oh no wait

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@chrlttno Remainers are idiots. Economists have got it wrong before, so that must mean you can never trust an economist. Instead you should trust the public who are wonderfully informed trade and economic experts, based off gut, not stupid numbers and facts.

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@IsabelOakeshott Yep, people love risk. Who better to determine the likelihood of us to strike beneficial deals than the commerce experts and economists of everyday British people.

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@cathsuff Getting promoted is so mighty fine

All I must do, is just stand there in line

Like a 'great supine protoplasmic jelly', I guess I've no spine

To tell my pal Johnson it's time to resign

https://t.co/52UkXtQha7

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@trevorw1953 I said you'd have to be fanatic
Or at least anti-democratic
To seek advice against litigation
Then go for prorogation

I know, what a surprise
To see me full of lies
Because now I've change my mind
But I haven't yet resigned

#brexit #matthancock @MattHancock #FBPE

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

A famous man once said 'you cannot argue with idiots'. So we sat down as a cabinet and thought 'how can we make sure nobody will ever be able to argue with us again?' And just look at the results!

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@DondieCox With our wonderful NHS I don't have to. We keep everyone alive. We founded the NHS and we fund the NHS more than anyone ever has

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

I don't use this turn of phrase lightly, but our ancestors DID NOT wade onto the beaches and fight and die for parliament to be used to delay brexit. No, no, no.

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@cathsuff NEVER! Our ancestors waded the beaches and fought for us to leave the EU. Or something like that...

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@rach0907 @EnglishmanAdam Don't ever speak about Boris like that. I have always backed him and always will. Я люблю тебя, Борис. пожалуйста, рекламируйте меня

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@JackWDart Yes. Mass ignorance ftw

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@ScarthLloyd @KitCatK I'm happy to dance the dance if that means a spot in the cabinet

[The Real Matt Hancock @HasHancock]

@BorisJohnson Could not agree more. I'll back you now and always. Until the next leadership contest when I'll say what I actually think until I lose at which point I'll do anything for a promotion.