Haskell CEO

CEO of a Haskell company. #trust #leadership #applicative

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

Absolutely gobsmacked you think these software "engineers" can identify the algorithms that were used when they can't even explain what a monad is.

[Eric Weinstein @ericweinstein]

Hi @elonmusk: can we pay to see our acct. files and what algorithms were used against us specifically and collectively by the team gaslighting old twitter?

It’s worth a year’s worth of $8 monthly payments to me easily. Even to find out that it was all just in my head. ;-)

$96?

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

Please don't make your life harder than it needs to be: you can be a Marxist or you can write backend services in Node. Not both. Please.

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

Years ago, at a corporate leadership summit, I warned that the obsession with gaining functions would threaten humans globally. My purist programmers disagreed. Two years into the pandemic, I'm sorry to say that I have been vindicated. #BanGainOfFunctions

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

Things you can do on your iPhone while flying first class: tweet about the evils of capitalism.

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

Change nothing and just swap out the labels. It's that easy. #stonks

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

Preparing a few slides for a talk I am delivering to Engineering. I am trying my best to bring this to their level.

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

Kind of like how my programmers start talking about "mo nads" during our meetings without warning. I swear they have the humor of five year olds.

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

You heard it here folks, it's time to build!

TL;DR there's things we want, why hasn't someone built them?!

Andreessen is as tone-deaf as his head is cone-shaped.

[Marc Andreessen 🇺🇸 @pmarca]

https://t.co/IlRYdH6610

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

Five years later and nothing has changed.

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

idempotence - you not doing what I ask no matter how many fucking times I ask you

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

@Ella_RTorres

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

Ah yes, these great United Countries of America.

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

N is for N-Category
O is for Opposite Category
P is for Pointed
Q is for Quillen's theorems
R is for Retraction
S is for Section
T is for Terminal
U is for Universal
V is for Vector
W is for Waldhausen category
Carole Baskin killed her husband
Y is for Yoneda
Z is for Zero

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

A is for Abelian
B is for Bifunctor
C is for Category
D is for Diagonal Functor
E is for Endofunctor
F is for Free functor
G is for Groupoid
H is for Homomorphism
I is for Identity
Epstein didn't kill himself
K is for Kan Extension
L is for Lax Functor
M is for Monad

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

Cobol programmers emerging from retirement to answer the call. 🎖️

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

👸🏻����🏻👸🏻

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

"I have to admit it, I laughed at Cobol for many years. I'm not laughing now." - Chris Bryans, unemployed

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

That was from a later, patched version. The source I've provided is from 1.3.37-beta-biden.2

[Patrick @pmylund]

@HaskellCEO "correct the public record kthxbye" is even better than what he said ("correct the public health")

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

I have obtained portions of the source code that powers presidential candidate Joseph Biden's brain. I will be releasing snippets as they are approved by compliance.

[Haskell CEO @HaskellCEO]

Randomly respond to questions on Hacker News with "I use org mode" to earn karma.