jasmin

Jesus and germs are everywhere.

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

i just won a THREE AND A HALF HOUR uno game!!!!

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

It’s wonderful hearing your husband say “dude fuck you” on your birthday. It has a little extra sting

[some internet thingys @internetthingys]

@NoContextHumans Insurance. You spend most of your life giving them money; then, when you need it, they turn over every stone to figure out how to deny you.

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

@caZanova__ i spy with my little eye, a grucifix 😍😍

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

WHAT IS THIS REBRANDING!!!

WHY ELON

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

my in laws are coming this week and they keep complaining about the texas heat 🙄

how you gonna come mid summer and complain about mid summer heat????? come in the fall or list .. idk… don’t?

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

i’m walking through life with that “i’m gonna cry” chest feeling

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

@Queen0fDeath819 💕💕

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 14 years, since 1 Jun 2009 (via @twi_age).

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

@erikavonhelsing my husband and i make bets on how many people will wish him a happy memorial day 🥴 last year he got 5 on fb lol

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

i just went up on my tunnels and i thoughts i was ready but the throbbing tells me otherwise 🥲

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

i taught myself to mow the lawn and trim the edges

happy mother’s day to me 🤭

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

i grew up strictly religious so i thought there was dude in the sky who kept us in his special little looney bin… how do i explain death to my kids now that there isn’t this happily ever after?

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

what is it about the soccer dads on my kids team 🥵

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

my husbands bio dad is constantly messaging him to “make a mends” — like bro you left your children and now terrorize them as adults??

i have never met this man child in my life and i hope i never have to… he’s so delusional

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

@chknuggetz when i was an EMT it was about 8.50 starting off ☹️

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

@c__elliot @juttytaylor i just cackled 😂

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

@mericanmademama my mom has a video of me running onto the dance floor at a wedding reception. like how fucking annoying it must be for my aunt to watch the video and be like “goddamnit jasmin” lol

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

@mericanmademama it’s a great excuse for a night out without kids and no worries. i love my kids but i KNOW they’d be the ones crying in the background.

[♡ 𝓑𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓪 ♡ @beIIeevangeline]

i remember one time she said “you’re a picky eater for someone who grew up in poverty” LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[jasmin @HasmeanTweets]

@straightgolden i wouldn’t say “aggressively”, it’s wholehearted