Jason Haugland

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

Anyone else notice that every one of these snowflakes are all so unique that they're all the same?

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

Even Rachel Dratch's name is ugly...#SNL

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

Ronda Rousey thinks she can fight anyone in the ring and win? I would fight her, and lose like a bitch...

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

#FreeTheBacon

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

If Chad Kroeger from Nickleback got a shave and a haircut with that new nose job of his, he'd look like Dax Shepard. Sorry Dax.

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

"When Tom Selleck asks you to marry him, you say YES."

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

I think every winning team on Hell's Kitchen should do something to benefit the less fortunate. Not the losing team...

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

If Undateable went live every week it would OWN the ratings HANDS DOWN. #watchthefuckingshow#

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

Watching Bicentennial Man. I hope Robin Williams hears me every time I cry for him.

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

Sally Field had a sweet ass in Smokey and the Bandit.

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

I now want a hug from Terry Crews. He seems like a genuine dude.

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

@HellsKitchenFOX Sade's teeth look like Sloth from The Goonies...

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

If I ever use the word "bae", kill me. I would do it for you.

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

Lou Diamond Phillips is starting to look like a turtle. Seriously.

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

Never cared for baseball, but hard to ignore what a class act this years Royals are. Go Blue!

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

Let's see if I can get a million "likes" to get a big bear hug from John Goodman!

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

140 character limit? Twitter needs to step it's game up. #I'mmoreeloquentthanthat#

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

Hollywood Game Night was wrong. "The Teouble with Trebles" was Star Trek. #fuckupmuch# #I always win#

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

Whatever happened to Master P and his No Limit crew? I think it's time for a comeback!

[Jason Haugland @HauglandJason]

Watching the new 300 movie. Apparently the title refers to the amount of abs each of those buff assholes have. (Self conscious now)