a trifoilate ursine

I write and cry and tweet and pray no one notices I have feet for hands and hands for feet. they/them

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

The lady at the blood donation place said she was gonna leave me something because I donate every time she calls and I was like, "You don't have to do that it's a renewable resource I have so much blood."

[Cranky Federalist @CrankyFed]

It's not our fault that we respond to foreigners expressing interest in our country by reacting with something other than sneering contempt

[🦆 B1G Duck Energy 🦆 @B1GDuckEnergyy]

Europeans seeing a live Pop-Tart being executed during half time of a World Cup match

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

I told my husband that Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater broke up and why did that man go, "Ooh, Pete Davidson 2.0?"

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

I think Noah Kahan wrote that album for Chuck and Jimmy McGill.

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

I get a lot of mileage out of saying “well I don’t like that he won’t marry that girl” anytime Cristiano Ronaldo comes up

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

I do have one evil ex that it would fill me with unsung glee if he named a child after me.

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

The Last Great American Dynasty

[TAYLA☁️ @ponar15]

What’s your most controversial Taylor Swift skip? (Swifties only)

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

I can tell I’m too far gone nicotine wise because I would murder for a cigarette right now. But I can’t let cigarettes win.

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

The all time top listen songs on Spotify are fucked up because it's a song I used to play for my students all the time followed by a song I used to listen to exclusively while hungover and dying.

[aj 🧷 @ajjordanphoto]

really cool to read about how the government thinks i need to be neutralized for the crime of thinking being trans is fine while i’m on my lunch break and then have to go back to work so i can afford my overpriced groceries in the country that hates me. i feel awesome about this.

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

I don’t know how I’m going to feel when my AOL app inevitably is the one to tell me when it happens.

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

Heated rivalry fic writers are so spoiled. I got more hits on a shayden fic today then I got in six months in a dragon age fic.

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

Like what do you mean they're going to spend the rest of his life together, but she's always going to be resentful of him so their final years are plagued by her going on benders because she cannot accept the circumstances?

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

Yo I lowkey hate writing. Like I've got 20-30k words left, and it's just gonna be her future getting easier but her past getting worst, and I can't even enjoy her happiness because I have to write the worst parts.

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

Minoxidil has become shorthand for me for any issue where I person is complaining, there is an obvious solution, and they just refuse to take it.

Like girl, go bald then. what do you want.

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

I feel like the late 2020s are going to be defined by that fuck ass bump all the celeb women have on their shoulders because it's illegal for them to eat more than 500 calories a day.

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

I have my biggest supporter, the person i can be most honest with, the man who fetches me diet cokes and protein shakes. I get to be with the man I admire most? The man I’m constantly in awe of? And I’m supposed to want something else?

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

[a trifoilate ursine @HawliBear]

My 8th grade English teacher made us hand write every assignment in cursive and I fear I would do the exact same thing as a teacher.