Michelle Crigler

Keeping it real, one meltdown at a time!

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

@anniezard #killingit

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

I'm thinking about illistrating a book of dongs--a series of unsolicited pics recieved in my inbox. Possibly on adventures, because obviously they're bored. Maybe with cooking tips or life affermations? Too cliche? #whyarestrangersemailingdongs #whyisANYONEemailingdongs

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

Taking it slow... #painting snails for our windows!

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

They keep coming out of the bedroom for various reasons. I just told my kid that his itchy toe should be okay, or it may fall off...but it's fiiiiine either way. 🤷‍♀️

#finestmoment #gotheFtosleep #momlife

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

@GettyMuseum

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

My kids are trying to kill each other, politely. "Does this hurt?" "Not yet, please try again." "Thank you, how about now?"

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

Having a fantastic day--share the good vibes! ☀️

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

#places2go #boymom #hike #GOkids #greatoutdoorkids @ Sequoia National Park, California https://t.co/aS4Lw23meA

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

#dreambig my little man @ Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks https://t.co/Z1s3xAeHna

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

#whiteboard #buddy https://t.co/Ry1GvrcaZJ

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

Does your kid eat the entire strawberry, greenery and all? No?

Upon inquiring wtf, #theodore replies, "Mom, its just a little fruit salad. You should try it."

#pass #shitmykidsays #momlife

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

When mixing concrete earlier:

M: Do you know how much water to put in here?

T: No; we destroyed the bag.

M: *turns on the hose* meh.

T: Milkshake thick...I can look it up.

M: This isnt IKEA. Let's do this thing.

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

“They don’t have Mountains.” ⛰ 😂🤣 #workoutthoughts https://t.co/v8d5AN43Gw

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

3yo: *hugs* Your belly's squishy.

...you having a baby?

Me: No.

3yo: 😐

Me: 😕

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

Parenting is full of heart stopping moments, but none more than sitting in a silent house when a toy starts going off, attempting to move, singing, and then slowly warbles into clicks and contralto. #creepy #killitwithfire #allthelightson

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

Check out this book: "Word by Word: The Secret Life of Dictionaries" by Kory Stamper https://t.co/4J8b2cO2uR

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

Well ...that's a new one. #existentialblobcrisis

[TED Talks @TEDTalks]

It's our shared spaces, the places that we recognize as communal — public walkways, parks, gardens, infrastructure — that create our sense of unity and shared memory, says @hdhooddesign. #TED2018

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

Twitter! I need help identifying this plant:

[Michelle Crigler @HazmatMomma]

Ever sprayed air freshener only to watch as it slowly drifts down over you? #febreeze #bodyspray #smellslikeAIR