Random Employee

I work in an office with no work place manners, etiquette, filters, shame, or a functioning HR dept. Yes, this is really how I spend 8 hrs of my life.

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

Boss2 to female employee about completely benign topic:
That was a shot in the nuts.
#phrasing #HelpMeHR

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

Boss2 to female employee: I'm like a gynecologist, they all look the same to me. #nowords

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

Boss2: I'm more laid back, if expressions of love are going to happen, they're going to happen
#WordsToLiveBy #workadvice

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

Boss1: She started very small time working for friends in Beverly Hills
classic #bootstrap story

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

Boss2: Thong thonga thonga, let me see that thooooooong.
#itstooearlyforthis

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

HR: I'm not anti-social, I just fuckin hate people

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

Client: He's Russian and you know Russians are always up to no good.
No one makes eye contact because his account manager is Russian
#shhhh

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

boss2 daisy-dukes, bikinis on top, California girls...
theres something about a middle age man singing Katy Perry that makes it xtra special

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

Boss2ToEmployee YOU NEED TO SHAVE YOUR LEGS
Employee2ToBoss2 YOU CAN'T SAY THAT TO AN EMPLOYEE
Boss2SHE HAS A DATE SHE HAS TO SHAVE HER LEGS

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

BOSS2: from 7am to 10p, I own everyone here! When you're asleep, that's your time, everything else is my time.
#sadface

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

Boss1ToEmployee: Let's go bitch, you and me
thank god he's talking about ping pong
#phrasing

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

BOSS2: SHE IS SMOKIN!
ASST: I DON'T THINK YOU CAN SAY THAT ABOUT A TEENAGER
BOSS2: WHY NOT?
#heavysigh

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

Boss1ToCustomerSrvcRep THERE'S A GUY IN YOUR DEPARTMENT NAMED X CAN YOU GO HIT HIM IN THE HEAD FOR ME?
THAT BEING SAID HERE'S MY PROBLEM...

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

BOSS 2: Cray cray attracts cray cray
Assistant: I don't think you can say that about your employees
BOSS2: it's with affection
#TGIF

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

BOSS1: "I hope client A gets a yeast infection and a UTI"
#ouch

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

BOSS2: When we're talking about food, it's not racist.

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

HR:" I don't care what they want, I think client 1 & 2 are whores."

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

BOSS1 to Client: Yeah I've been high all day
#codeinelove

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

BOSS1 just mimed beating a kitten with a real bat...it's a dark day.

[Random Employee @HeSaidItAtWork]

BOSS2 TO EMPLOYEE: you're problem is you have too much Latin fire, too much machismo