Headline Edition

Satire and parody news of a humorous nature. Created by one man with spaghetti for a moustache.

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@BladeoftheS What., Twitter? Is that what he means? TWITTER?

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BREAKING: Panic in BBC as someone makes interesting, relevent comment - management scramble to contain reaction.

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BREAKING: Reform apologise for putting forth candidate with no history of racism, homophobia or misogyny "We have strict vetting" said a spokesman "and in this case we selected someone who seemed an objectionable bigot, but failed to provide evidence to back it up. Sorry."

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BREAKING: Energy price cap to rise to 18% or your first born

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BREAKING: Man to spend weekend in Premier Inn, with unlimited breakfast, appeals for clemency in Court of Appeals

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BREAKING: Researchers claim eating crisps may cure acne.

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@EastEndJoe You can grieve too, by visiting her Mourning Merch Store. We've cups and caps, towels and t-shirts, all folded by someone with a sombre face. While there, why not augment your personal agony with a commemorative plate? The ideal gift.

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Still a few tickets available for whatever at the Trump Kennedy Center.

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@PaulSkallas I cry bullshit on this guy.

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BREAKING: Salmon unlikely to make transition to live in trees says environmental group

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BREAKING: Man who stuck tongue out in general direction of community centre jailed

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BREAKING: Shock as free buffet table remains untouched despite presence of Nick Ferrari; scientists baffled.

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BREAKING: £50m Winning bid for Times Newspaper stipulates inclusion of answer to 9 down "Dance Around it (5)"

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BREAKING: Keir Starmer to propose attaching everyone to everyone else with string.

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BREAKING: Boffins released research that the key to a longer life is more sex with boffins.

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BREAKING: Archeologists find what could be ancient Mike Graham in peat bog.

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@TheRealJamieKay The place of his birth? I would assume he's embarrassed because naturally they have seen him and are trying to evolve.

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https://t.co/JRCtwjWNIG

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https://t.co/fAx8TUJBb3 It's time to take a look at those roads for your Xmas journeys...

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BREAKING: Breaking News to be renamed 'Fresh Musings' in attempt not to alarm anyone.