Lewis

Knitwear with a man inside. Burning Duck Student Comedian of the Year, Chortle semi-finalist.

[Martin Lewis @MartinSLewis]

URGENT! Pls share. The last chance to register to vote in the General Election is 11.59pm tomorrow Tue 18 June. Potentially 8m aren't registered at their current address. Here's 4 key facts...

1) You can do it online here https://t.co/i4FhJoAXfK
2) It's good for your finances. Not being on electoral roll can make it more difficult to be accepted for credit products like bank accounts or mortgages.
3) You can opt out of the 'Open Register' (which allows your info to be sold on) which will stop you getting junk mail marketing )
4) You'll need ID when you do vote (not to register) if you don't have it, you can get it free until Wed 26 June https://t.co/9bfL3hw3CV

[Lewis @HeadsWillDroll]

When your London landlord tries to raise the rent by 31% and you haggle him down to a mere 20% rise...

[Michael Docherty @maybeavalon]

Texts from friends in the UK increasingly taking on this tone

[Matthew Highton @MattHighton]

If I'd not seen it in films so much the "ambushed by a cake" thing would be ridiculous.

[Lewis @HeadsWillDroll]

Isolating with Covid isn't a pastime I'll be racing to repeat but at least there's a Lord of the Rings music special on @BBCRadio3 to while away the afternoon

[Jimmy Carr @jimmycarr]

A Tribute To Sean Lock https://t.co/3MFNL0SFjo via @YouTube

[Lewis @HeadsWillDroll]

Gutted to hear about Sean Lock. Whenever people asked who my favourite comedian is I would always say him - I loved his surrealism, his physicality and most of all the impish glee that he clearly got out of performing. A huge loss to comedy

[Godspeed You Black Tamperer (ft Maya) @twlldun]

you start at durham. u are moving into your flat. you are very excited. you meet one of your flatmates, a guy called Percy. u have a chat while he’s unpacking. he pulls out two vast and trunkless legs and then a shattered visage with a sneer of cold command. What do u do

[Ossie @OssieFisheater]

Ozymandias in the style of All Star (?)

[Seán Burke @SeanBurkeShow]

This man plays acid jazz piano for wild elephants - and they fucking hate it.

[Lewis @HeadsWillDroll]

@stephenkb I agree, but it does make you a hostage to fortune of the even noveller coronaviruses to come..

[Lewis @HeadsWillDroll]

@haikneywrites @zacksizer Your horse must have weird feet

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

America, I’m honored that you have chosen me to lead our great country.

The work ahead of us will be hard, but I promise you this: I will be a President for all Americans — whether you voted for me or not.

I will keep the faith that you have placed in me.

[The author, Séamas O'Reilly @shockproofbeats]

In which Werner Herzog gives the an incredible answer when asked how many languages he speaks

[Lewis @HeadsWillDroll]

Reminds me of my go-to "quick-say-something" feedback in open improv when I was @ShamblesImprov Director..

me: end scene!

everyone else:

me, panicking: well that was [miniscule pause] fun

[Lewis @HeadsWillDroll]

Update: I found the perfect pair on the third go (back to the house each time) but THE ANTI-THEFT TAG WAS LEFT ON. I like the Reading John Lewis store but I never considered it a second home until now 😭😭

#backigo #finaltrip #please

[Lewis @HeadsWillDroll]

You have not known true disappointment until you are a tall gangly man shopping for jeans when fitting rooms are closed 🎻

#twotripstoday #backagaintomorrow

[Lewis @HeadsWillDroll]

@Portobello_Toad It would explain why neither of us can tan...

[Lewis @HeadsWillDroll]

Just opened a fortune cookie and it didn't have a fortune in it. Am I dead? Is this how I find out I'm dead?