Overheard Brooklyn

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[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

“Growing persimmons. It’s happening.”

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

@Themooncryy_ Got a laproscopic surgery with notes that said: “Vulva: Within normal parameters.”

Didn’t end up needing a cath so no shaving.

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

Same convo. “As for the pool, most people say their kids can swim, but they can’t. *snort laugh*”

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

“Ugh, all that carpet. I can’t be around carpet.”

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

“I think I’m just too into my music to have a stable relationship.”

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

“He fell onto the tracks. Then the train came and and actually dragged him along. Yeah… like a good amount. Then I met him at the hospital and he was like, “It’s no big deal.”

Phone convo.

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

@angryasianman The inventor of those mangoes tried to submit them to a mango contest and they got rejected for quality.

They only got popular because they transport better.

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

Looking at blowtorches

Bodega guy: You know what those are for?

Me: Dabs

Bodega guy: No. White people are buying them to melt cheese and chocolate.

[Austin Federa | 🇺🇸 @Austin_Federa]

Overheard date in Brooklyn last night

Him: "I work on such big data sets I had to get a new computer so Excel could keep up."

Her: "If it fits in Excel, it's not a big data set."

[Godfrey M. Bakuli @GodfreyMBakuli]

Overheard in Brooklyn: “You don’t know what you’re talking about, lady. You’re projecting your trauma onto my Maltese.”

[Jay Humor @jayweingarten]

"I don’t know what's tighter, our skinny jeans or our friendship!" - Overheard in Brooklyn, NY

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

“There I was. In the bush. Alone and completely fucked up on shrooms.”

Didn’t hear the ending unfortunately.

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

“Girl, just try dating women!” “I should.”

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

“She knows that I’ve started experimenting with hot sauce.”

[Andi Talarico @anditalarico]

Overheard in Brooklyn this evening: a cyclist blasting Bryan Adams’ “(Everything I Do) I Do it For You,” from his speakers; and, following closely behind him by about twenty seconds, a different cyclist singing along, very loudly and very passionately.

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

For clarification, they did get famous for cat grooming.

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

My cat groomer got famous. I need a recommendation for a new one.

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

Guy: I’m insane sometimes. Like I’m batshit CRAZY!

Lady: Well, I have bipolar disorder, but I wouldn’t call myself batshit crazy.

Guy: I, um, err, well I don’t mean, fff

Don’t think he got that second date.

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

“Doggies are better than people.”

-lady in atheltic wear singing her own song while walking down the street

You’re not wrong lady. You’re not wrong.

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

Someone on the street just threw up beer on my foot in the daytime. Can I get a merit badge?

[Overheard Brooklyn @HeardInBK]

Guy: [Long story I wasn’t paying attention to]...and then I put it in a bowl.

Girl: No! You’re lying to me.

Guy: I swear to God. Then I sent pictures to my cousin. It was a bed bug.

Girl: OH MY GOD 😮😮

#transplants confused about the realities of NYC