Heather Cofer

Believer | Wife to Judah | Mama of eight | Second gen homeschooler | Author/Writer | Passionate about how Jesus changes everything for womanhood | Psalm 90:12

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

I’m so tickled over how much delight this hilarious moment has brought others, especially on Mother’s Day. My children have brought buckets of joy and laughter into my life, and I’m so thankful.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

Living her best life over here. 😂
I decided this was one of those “video first, intervene later” sorts of parenting moments.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

@GeorgeWill2324 Ha! Anything for the birthday boy, ya know? 😂

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

My morning view.
Just slightly different than the usual vase of flowers, but hey, it’s not everyday you get to sit at the table with a large fish balloon.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

Here we are: Teenager Eve 🥹.
Preparations are in full swing.
The sisters helped me with all the decorating for their fishing-loving big bro.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

@stephaniem5280 It’s nearly too much for the mama heart 🥹

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

I wasn’t sufficiently warned about the delight that floods your heart watching your child play an organized sport.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

@ErinShockl59711 I’ve never decorated either, but I’m also really enjoying making the house patriotic this year! One thing I’m doing is putting little flags in vases.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

Yes.

I actually shared the second half of this proverb in relation to the abortion of the precious little boy, but now I can’t stop thinking about the blindness and confusion of caring for your animal but *not* your own child.

Proverbs 12:10
Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast,
but the mercy of the wicked is cruel.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

@HonestYPTweets Amen.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

@HansFiene This is so true.

Another way this consumeristic mindset displays itself is by some moms becoming resentful when they do have kids and realize the sacrifice it requires. They want the happiness/sense of fulfillment without the responsibility.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

@SummrWrites 😂😂😂

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

@themom_katie 😂😂😂

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

“Not everyone will follow this mindset concerning children to such an evil degree. But if we wish to protect ourselves from it, we need to fundamentally change the way we think about children. Which is to say, we need to view parenthood vocationally rather than through a consumeristic lens.

Children are not trinkets. They are human beings, as human as you, and just as worthy of love and honor as you. Likewise, parenthood is not a lifestyle, a hobby, or an era. It's a vocation.”

👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

[Hans Fiene 🦬 @HansFiene]

Overwhelmingly, people view children as accessories to add to their lives when they desire rather than as gifts from God and indeed, the very purpose of the sexual union. Even among conservative Christians, this mindset is rampant.

We talk about kids like they're home improvement projects? "Are you guys ready for that, or are you going to keep waiting awhile?"

We talk about them as though they're Pokemon cards that you quit collecting one you have a complete set. "So now that you have a boy and a girl, are you done?"

We often look at large families with the same kind of disdain we have for hoarders. "That's so weird. Why do you need so many of those?"

Likewise, push away all the lamentations about wanting to save your unborn child from a lifetime of suffering and hardship through abortion, and you'll find the true mindset, where we respond to our children having disabilities the way we'd respond to a restaurant giving us the wrong food, something we simply refuse to eat.

"Waiter, I ordered a healthy baby. But you gave me this gross little deformed thing. Throw that away and give me what I actually ordered."

Not everyone will follow this mindset concerning children to such an evil degree. But if we wish to protect ourselves from it, we need to fundamentally change the way we think about children. Which is to say, we need to view parenthood vocationally rather than through a consumeristic lens.

Children are not trinkets. They are human beings, as human as you, and just as worthy of love and honor as you. Likewise, parenthood is not a lifestyle, a hobby, or an era. It's a vocation.

If a child is growing in your womb, God has already given you the vocation of mother. And a mother's vocation is always to protect and love her child, never to kill her child. If your child is growing in a woman's womb, God has already given you the vocation of father. And a father's vocation is always to protect his child, never to kill his child.

If God gives you that vocation when you're poor, fulfill it faithfully and trust that He will give you your daily bread. If God gives you that vocation when you don't feel ready for it, get over yourself and fulfill it faithfully. If God gives you that vocation by giving you a child who seems too difficult to care for, trust that He will also give you the strength to endure the task, and fulfill it faithfully.

May God save our souls and purify our hearts by changing our minds.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

When murder is acceptably framed as compassion,
And the perpetrators are acceptably framed as the victims.
I tremble.

Lord, grant repentance.

“The mercies of the wicked are cruel”

[Jesse Ridgway @McJuggerNuggets]

This week, my wife and I made the very difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy due to Trisomy 21.

The choice was not made lightly. We really appreciate all of the personal stories that you guys shared with us, especially the unconditional support we received from fans with no matter what we decided.

I know some of you may be very disappointed to hear this news. We are devastated. This has been extremely traumatic for both of us, especially Ashley.

She underwent the procedure earlier this week and is on the mend. Thankfully, everything went smoothly, but emotionally we are drained.

Trisomy 21, also known as Down Syndrome, is caused by an extra chromosome. It is caused by an error in cell division, like a glitch. The odds of a baby having it is 1 in 1000.

When I first confronted this news, I was shocked but optimistic. If they’re a little slow intellectually, then we’ll make it work. I signed on to be a parent, come what may…but I just didn’t fully understand what Down Syndrome entailed.

Once we made it public, it became clear that MOST people don’t know what Down Syndrome entails (and no, it’s not the same as Autism):

50% of babies with DS have heart defects. 75% will have hearing challenges. Over 50% will have vision problems. Impaired immune function, developmental disabilities, learning disabilities, delayed physical development, poor muscle tone, structural issues with face, decreased lifespan, etc…Sadly, the list is long, feel free to look it up…Down Syndome isn’t a “blessing”, it is objectively shitty from a health perspective.

I didn’t realize just how rough it is for the child, let alone the family…more often than not, they would be fully dependent on others for the rest of their life.

The miscarriage risk is also close to 50%, which made matters worse…they may never see the light of day and it puts Ashley further at risk.

We spoke with doctors, friends, family and genetic counselors and learned that up to 90% of women terminate their pregnancy after learning the baby has Trisomy 21.

This was WAY higher than I expected, I thought it would be lower given that I hear so many say they kept or would keep the baby. I believe that’s because most terminations happen privately, it feels shameful. A lot of judgment being cast.

You never think you’d be in this type of situation until it happens to you and then things change.

To all of my fans who have weighed in on this topic who have Autism, Down Syndrome or any other conditions…we appreciate you. You matter a lot and we’re glad you’re here. I commend you and your families for having the strength and courage to push forward.

As for us, we made a difficult decision that we believe in the long-run will be beneficial for our family. Thankfully, we had a choice.

It will take a little time to move on, but we are excited to try again in the future and hopefully have a better outcome.

Love you guys & thank you for understanding. ❤️

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

@lambeth981 It was a great episode.
And I love what you shared here. I always value the insights of Christians who’ve raised their kids into adulthood, and the outcome of the input and approach can be clearly seen.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

@cemajeika Thank you!!!!

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

Our thirteen-year-old.
So proud of our firstborn.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

Here we are: Teenager Eve 🥹.
Preparations are in full swing.
The sisters helped me with all the decorating for their fishing-loving big bro.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

@FNguywthebeard Agreed!

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

An encouragement for young moms today:

The skills we’re learning and character we’re building *through* motherhood are not confined *to* motherhood. The character it’s helping to shape in us won’t be limited to the realm of raising kids.

Learning how to organize multiple people’s stuff, manage complex schedules, meal plan, find thousands of micro ways to increase efficiency, are all things that can be used in many ways.

The self-control, patience, selflessness, kindness, and unconditional love we’re learning to practice day in, day out are not *just* for here and now. That certainly doesn’t diminish the growth in these traits here and now spurred on largely by caring for these precious kids. Rather, it reminds us that growth here and now is a vitally important, God-given training ground to mature us in every way.

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

I’m just 13 years in, but I feel this very same way. Such a good reminder/encouragement!

[Mrs. Gore @MrsGoresDiary]

I often daydream about going back in time and getting to parent my first three kids all over again, but with the perspective and wisdom I have gleaned in nineteen years of mothering. I would welcome them in, always, and I would be peppy and fun and self-sacrificing when they were in the room.

And yet, I HAVE three young children in my care.

So…do it, lady!! Be the amazing mother you would be if you had that time machine! 😅

[Heather Cofer @HeatherACofer]

@1cor127 Japanese maples are absolutely beautiful!!!!!