Heather Wyatt

I teach and write. Can I borrow some cash?

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

Watching Bama get dragged by Oklahoma seems like as good time as any to say ✌🏼 to this toxic dump. See ya on 🦋 with the same username.

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

A drag queen complimented my boobs which really helped with the whole disassociation process.

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

So far, when asked what he wants for Christmas, my kid’s only response has been, “breakfast.”

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

Alright mother fuckers, you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

@Nspradley Can’t stop won’t stop!

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

I have a therapy appointment at 3 and just got a notification that my Sertraline is ready for pickup. I’m ready.

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

@Nspradley @Shan3Jones iykyk

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

@TestTuscaloosa My response to him was, “ARE YOU TRYING TO PISS ME OFF?” And then he went back to his desk.

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

Just had a student ask if he could write his paper on the benefits of misogyny.

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

One time I waited too long to take Graham to pee and he had an accident. He said, “I’m sorry.” I said, “Don’t be! That was mommy’s fault.” So now guess what he says every time he pees anywhere but a toilet?

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

We sat behind the two sweetest best friends at the #eras tour last night. They were basically the younger version of me and @JordanGPittman and it made me emotional. Find someone that makes you feel safe and loved and completely yourself. It will change your life.

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

Cult life is good. Can’t complain.

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

@JordanGPittman @SelenaLaLeyenda 😭 👏

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

We had an overall successful trip to the pumpkin patch today with very little stress and in this toddler era, it was much appreciated.

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

The goalpost destruction gives me so much ick I can’t stand it.

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

I had a student question my dignity for the frustrated email I sent about AI, followed by an immediate essay from a different student that contained AI, followed by a loss to Tennessee. In a world of privilege, I am not thriving today mentally.

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

My 3 year old currently ONLY eats the following:
*Pizza
*Chicken Nugs (from a restaurant/not the trash from your freezer)
*Croutons
*Strawberry ice cream in a cone w/sprinkles
*Whatever fruit I don’t have after spending money on a different kind of fruit.
*chips and queso
*ranch

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

I sent an unhinged spiral email to students about AI and have gotten multiple confessions and apologies so now I feel they are worried I need to be in a facility. Tbh whatever helps.

[Heather Wyatt @HeatherMWyatt]

@JordanGPittman You deserve this!