Heather Shrader

I do great SNL impressions of SNL characters doing impressions

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

Listening to your friend talk about how she’s working it out with her bf after you already blocked him, keyed his car and took his cat to the pound.

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

When you say you’re not hungry but still wait to see if he orders you fries anyway because life’s a test

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

Some call it attention seeking.

I call it leadership. 📢

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

You didn’t know pain until 9 yr old you launched one of these into a ceiling fan

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

Girls be for real crying over dudes with beards like this

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

When someone puts on country music and the child locks are on and you can’t even throw yourself from the car

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

My face when my husband tells me I can’t keep the 6 dogs I brought home @shraderb

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

It's Doppelgänger Week!...

Post a picture of someone famous you resemble.#doppelgangerchallenge

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

When bae takes you out for food after a fight you started.

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

When God prepares you a table in the presence of your enemies.

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

Me: “Idk why I can’t lose weight.”

Also me:

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

Nobody:

Me: “Can we listen to Taylor Swift?”

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

When the lights come on at the club and you gotta hide from the dude who bought you drinks all night

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

@taylorswift13 come get these kids.

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

When all you wanted was a nice dinner out but your kids have spilled 6 Dr. Peppers, are sword fighting with butter knives and you vow to rip up $50 and eat a jean jacket before taking them in public again.

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

When you show the police officer how easy it was to get out of his handcuffs and now you got extra charges

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

When you show the police officer how easy it was to get out of his handcuffs and now you got extra charges

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

Them: So CUTE! When are you having another one?

Me:

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

Can we start a petition for @tomhanks to be the new host of Jeopardy? Who do we call for this.

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

Me watching a group of waiters at a restaurant scream sing happy birthday to some poor soul

[Heather Shrader @HeatherShrader9]

Can’t relate to the obsession with this “Joe” character in Netflix’s “You”. Ain’t no man with a bird chest going to treat me like the red thing around the bologna. #YOUSEASON2