Uncle God

shitposts and bad words. dont tell dad.

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

Ima waffle slut for the waffle hut,
Got a german sheppard with a criss-cross ass,
Call him waffle mutt with the waffle butt

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

It is your civic duty to beat the FUCK out of graffiti taggers. And i do mean the FUCK, the whole FUCK, and nothing but the FUCK, except perhaps, the SHIT, but primarily, the FUCK.

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

When we were kids, it was all about the milk mustache. Now it's all mustache, no milk

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

Every substance the human body expells is at least partially, if not fully, wet. Why we so juicy?

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

Wakin up human is a trip. Dont mind me, just wakin up, gotta eject or clean something out of 8 of my holes, gotta put plant and animal matter in one of them, then i gotta disinfect that hole later so it dont stink

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

Wester Vore Said Dick, or whatever they said

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

You think Sweden and all its clone countries (The Netherlands, Denmark, Amsterdam, etc.) will ever learn to properly use letters? Or is their language going to get even more convoluted and unnecessary?

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

You really think any of your underpaid, overworked coworkers living paycheck to paycheck shilled out to feed *YOU*? Unless its a potluck or a condiment, leave it alone you fat fuck

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

People that take anything from the work fridge that they did not explicitly bring themselves fucking baffle me.

"Oh, but it wasnt labelled!"

That doesnt matter you rancid month old bacon strip. If you didnt bring it, dont put in your mouth, you vacuous animal

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

Crazy how when you make a point of blocking any and all sponsored/business/advertising/political "posts" that come across your timeline, twitter just doubles down and puts 8 of them in a row on your fyp. Just genius level algorithms here. They really know what you like 👍

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

How the hell do you get "lost underwater" in a sub. Mf just drive up

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

They will leave 4 hours late, 5 hours after your shift is over. You will beg for death as they say "see you tomorrow" (you'll be seeing them all week because they scheduled a 4.5 day audit for 2 days)

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

The inability of an auditor (whos function is to read, write, and remain impartial) to read, write, and remain impartial, will always baffle me

[Uncle God @HeavyWheezing]

They will be confused as to why a design review is signed by the engineering manager "several months" after the quality manager (the dates are 1/11/98 and 1/12/98).