Helen Clare Kinney

good morning cavity queen

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

The airplane mode button on my iPhone is fully rusted

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

Me: how do I behave on a date with a French person? Should I be myself or like, hold myself back?
Amelie: hold yourself back.

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

It was very late in life that I realized the sound I had always associated with home was the cooing of pigeons

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

Ok what, we’re just wearing our bikinis upside down this year - no questions asked???

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

Revenge by way of wearing aggressively tiny spectacles

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

that morning in first grade that I didn’t plan for show and tell and my dad suggested I bring a letter opener and I did as such tho

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

i beg of u, do not tell me to ‘show some love’ on instagram , instagram likes are not my love language

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

walked past a King Charles Spaniel puppy and thought ‘wow it’s so perfect’ and EXPERIENCED JEALOUSY

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

i was picking my nose when the lights went on and they screamed surprise

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

Recently watched When Harry Met Sally with a guy and he described it as trippy

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

@bosto_g Just let us have croissants, just, just let us have this

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

Presence of splinters in life
Age 8: 80%
Age 27: 5%

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

“Helen Clare as much as I like the idea of hand knit visors for the house, I don’t know how much I am in need of one”

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

“I have to say, it does feel like a bit of a push to do one on one karaoke right now” -my roommate

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

My dad just recommended Emily in Paris

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

Finally, I’m dating my dentist!!!!!! just kidding

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

Ok Aesop hand soap is simply exhibitionism

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

Here’s the thing guys:
-returned from 2 wk trip
-bike lock stolen
-bike not stolen
-only person w code is ex
-what do we think
#unsolvedmysteries

[Helen Clare Kinney @HelenClareKinne]

there’s calling someone’s old number and talking to a stranger, then there’s FaceTiming someone’s old number while changing and FaceTiming with a stranger