HelicopterQueef

I'm a queefing helicopter that makes horrible jokes to survive the Apocalypse...

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@skeeter8209 @UnusualSpider @w86629690 @RealMattCouch Alright minute-man, just make sure and take the trash out in the morning. 😏

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@w86629690 @RealMattCouch Pwnd. Tell those libs. By the way, turn the lights off when you’re not in your panic room. The electric bill was $400 last month. This is your mother Billy, meatloaf is ready. I put a ketchup smiley face on it for my special little man.

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@skeeter8209 @UnusualSpider @w86629690 @RealMattCouch Nope, just taking a piss. How’s the weather?

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@skeeter8209 @UnusualSpider @w86629690 @RealMattCouch It’s a mirror skeeter. Didn’t my mother tell you if you make that face for too long it’ll stay like that? By the way, how’s her basement?

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@ElleChristense1 @Wolfiesmom Elle, I used to be a fan of yours until I realized you’re anti-queef and only like blowing smoke up asses. Are you getting paid in salty dogs to shill for the bag of dried, wrinkly dicks you call politicians? #fuckthepatriarchy #freethequeef

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@jonwurster Which also brings to mind NostraDahmer’s quatrain “the pen-is mightier than the sword, the beast will come with three of the seven swords of the end-of-days upon his chest, and you will know him as Steven BananaMan, the necrophile.” NostraDahmer was definitely before his time.

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@warrior013 @RealMattCouch @mkolken Sounds like you’re looking for an excuse to drink… The only thing this will cure is low blood sugar. 😐

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@bbraaten1 @HayMan85241181 @BackBayGirl617 @ananavarro Abso-fkn-lutely. I’m all 4 freedom of religion. Just leave it the fck out of politics, schools, science…U get the idea. Separate church&state. Even the Bible tells Christians to stay out of politics. Yet here we are, saturated with Christian politicians forcing their will. 👎🏼

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@TripperXUK @RehydratedTater @mollywood People like her mother took care of people like you during a hospitalization. You really want nursing staff to half ass your care during a health emergency? Cool. Let me know how that works out for you. Twat-faced cunt-muffin. 🤣😂

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@bradthedesigner @likea66 @hvntxr @NPR Don’t associate with groups of people that do shitty things. If a group of people’s actions are deplorable why should we not reserve judgement for their behavior? As a friendly reminder- soapbox preaching is gross. Nobody likes that. *quuuuuueeeeeefffffff*

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@hangukhiphop @maxomai @horatioalgorthm @peachofababy True. I mean, I’m married. For now.

[37d03d @37d03d]

So happy this record is out in the world. ♥️
A daily listen is good for the soul.

Listen: https://t.co/sbRe7NFqua

@BRMadjv @jagjaguwar @straightxnarrow @aaron_dessner @boniver
#howlongdoyouthinkitsgonnalast

[Merge Records @mergerecords]

Happy Anniversary to @superchunk's "Here's to Shutting Up" ❤️ The re-release drops October 22. Preorder it here! https://t.co/6apXn2w1Y5

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@RochNH2014 @KatrinaGibson13 @IanJone71874614 @DonaldJTrumpJr U aren’t showing any original thought either. You’re just the other side of the same damned coin Keith Perkins. Also, it WAS happening under Trump&Obama&GWBush. We’ve been there 4 20 years U dunce. How much shit U think went down in that amount of time? 🧐 Lotta dead kids, sadly.

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@August_Julii @illinidiva12 @MericanDaddy @NateSilver538 Cool story. Notice you joined the propaganda cult of Twitter this year. Have fun with that. If you want a real interaction and not some passive aggressive attempt at speaking your truth then give me a call. I’ll gladly give you my info so my fist can meet your face.

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@mastermind12318 @illinidiva12 @MericanDaddy @NateSilver538 But seriously, live your life the same as before. That, my friend, shows that you lack the ability to adapt. Have fun with your Darwin Award while the rest of us enjoy evolution through adaptation.

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@mastermind12318 @illinidiva12 @MericanDaddy @NateSilver538 Is it lockdown to think of other people? Huh, must be hard being a narcissist. People were meant to work as a group. Have fun on the flipside. I’m sorry that the community U subscribe to is self serving: U know, those predatory capitalists that keep fking ppl over for profit.

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@AngryFoodie2015 @illinidiva12 @MericanDaddy @NateSilver538 Not at all. You ever own an expensive raincoat?? Like a $400 one? You still get wet… just not as wet as you would without one. Facts. Not selling vaccines either, last I checked they were free, douche-canoe.

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@illinidiva12 @MericanDaddy @NateSilver538 2-Hence the reason the WHO and CDC still recommend masks and social distancing after VAX. Precautions. If U can get vaccinated, do it. Not just for U, but for everybody that can’t. Then, mask up and stay six feet apart, especially from children. Don’t be a dick, cunt, asshole etc

[HelicopterQueef @HelicopterQueef]

@illinidiva12 @MericanDaddy @NateSilver538 1-Vaccines R like raincoats. The less amount of rain (virus) you’re in, the drier you’ll be. If U decide to go out in a heavy downpour (around a lot of potentially infected individuals), expect to get wet (sick). Simple as that. Science in layman’s terms so y’all can UNDERSTAND.