Kristal

I'm a loner, a rebel, you don't wanna get mixed up with a girl like me.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

They say 'the machines of the future' will be as smart as people...

OK, but WHICH people? Because it kinda matters quite a bit.

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

@ewgrossrebecca Maybe he was unsettled by the way men were portrayed. Why else would he feel it necessary to share his unsolicited thought to a middle aged woman, WHO HE DOES NOT KNOW!

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

@ewgrossrebecca *me running after him in the parking lot* “SIR!!? UNSETTLING BECAUSE OF THE SOCIAL COMMENTARY ON WOMEN’S BEAUTY STANDARDS OR THE ICKY BOOBIES!?!”

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

@ewgrossrebecca Came here to tell you… Rowdy and I just watched The Substance.
Sitting next to me was a man who came to the movie all by himself. At the end he turned to me and said “That was the most unsettling movie ever.” And quickly walked out… I had questions for him.

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

Just swiped “right” because I thought one of his hobbies said “crying” and I thought that was very vulnerable and respectable. Now I see it says “cycling” …. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

Last time I went to a yoga class the instructor said “strong practice!” at the end of our class, I felt so strong and so good!

Tonight in our yoga class, shredded cheese fell out of my pockets.

I am embracing this ebb and flow of my fitness journey.

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

I enjoy my company and I can’t tell if it’s my company I enjoy or their’s??
Been alone/single for too long. Or just the right amount? It’s hard to tell

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

I keep going out on dates and thinking “that wasn’t so bad. It was kinda fun….”
But now I’m starting to think it might be me and not them…?

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

Some days I feel like I’m a burden, no one really listens to me.

Other days I wonder if I could be the leader of a cult.

Today I think I could lead a cult that no one listens to.

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

Perspective: ‘Alpha Con’ showed me how to be an alpha ... by kicking me out https://t.co/TszQTQV6tg via @DeseretNews

[Lisa_Cat @AertbyLisa]

@EPrecipice I couldn’t resist, I loved the words so much. A glorious mix of wisdom and surrealism. I hope you don’t mind and many thanks for sharing.

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

With all the germs and sickness going around,
I feel like it would also be helpful if we could ask for proof that you WASH YOUR HANDS!

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

Coworker: I had a nutritionist tell me that the average human has an average of 30 lbs of unprocessed waste in their intestine.

Me: NO WAY!! 30 lbs!?? How is that even possible!?!? ….
I think they’re full of shit.

Laughed way too hard at my own joke. Again

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

Wondering if ever in the history of medical exams there has been one time the doctor/nurse said “Oh. Will you look at that! my hands and this stethoscope are perfectly room temperature!”

Damn freezing hands every time!

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

Got the teen offspring a bunch of razors and an electric razor for Christmas.

Him: All shaved. Nice and smooth!
Me: Right on! Did you shave your butt crack!?
Him: OHMUHGAWD! NO WAY! What!?? I’m a beginner! That’s like level 10 shaving!

[Al Yankovic @alyankovic]

If you thought 2021 sucked, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you…

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

Cried at work today.

I was just trying to share my favorite moments from the new Spider-Man movie.

Fucking nerd

I might need a nap.

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

Feels so wrong to “like” someone’s status about their sobriety when I’m this buzzed… I AM STILL VERY PROUD OF YOU!

[Kristal @Hello_Kristal]

How To Build A Cool Shelf https://t.co/lT7ejywKuh via @YouTube