BonerkillBaxter

You already hate me.

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

I’m always in a robe. If not actually, mentally.

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

Today’s weather is intermittent crying with a chance of existential dread

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

Has anyone ever talked about how good it feels to slam your own doors tho? .. like, I bought this house, it’s mine, imma do what I please, SLAM

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

I’ve been thinking of every inconvenience in my life as a “side quest” lately, and it’s truly made my journey much more palatable. #lifeisasimulation

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

My thanksgiving conversation almost made a family member choke on their drink tonight.. now it truly does feel like the holiday season.. #imbackonmybullshit

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

You can really tell a lot about a person by finding out what their favorite Bright Eyes song is...

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

Y’all ever ended a night crying into a drag queen? Because.. ✅

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

I synced my Alexa with my Pfizer microchip and now I can just think a song and it plays #FutureStartsNow

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

@imbobirock Forever imagining people just talking into ten toilet seats 😂. Though, I’m not going to say I’ve NEVER slept with my face on a toilet seat.. sometimes you just gotta roll the dice I suppose.

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

@imbobirock This:

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

What’s a normal way to walk up stairs:
A) as gd fast as possible, you don’t need a handrail, pass on the right
B) take your time, don’t want to be winded when you show up
C) two at a time
D) find an elevator

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

Ballet in the streets, twerk in the sheets™

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

I’ve owned a reclining sofa for over two years and have never cranked it to full recline until tonight.. why have I been depriving myself of this luxury?!

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

Witchy bitch with a sharp tongue 🔮

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

🎶I’m a pandi girl 💁🏼‍♀️
In the pandi world
Life in masks is, not fantastic
You can’t touch my hair, the quarantine ain’t fair
Imagination, life feels like damnation🎶

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

I almost just threw my back out washing my face in the sink.. if age is a construct, does this mean I’m eligible for a covid vaccine?

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

Anyone else miss the days when you would just go borrow a cup of sugar from your neighbor?

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

Idk why all these people have been getting married in quarantine.. like, I’ll wait. If I can’t make my entire family watch me do a keg stand in a wedding dress, I don’t want it!

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

Yo.. do they still make jewelry that turns your skin green or have we cancelled that by now?

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

My ex once ate a light bulb.. wasn’t the brightest guy

[BonerkillBaxter @Hellseauh]

My midlife crisis car is going to be an RV and idgaf what y’all think about it.. catch me happy af in a winnebago ✌️