Sir Doucheurtwat

Bio lost in the Pussy flood of 1969 💦
IG: Dawgedog
#kissmytweets

[Sir Doucheurtwat @HelmdawgE]

I would rather be teabagged by a 90 year old than announce my birthday all over social media.

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

A pickle is just a cucumber with an attitude problem.

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

Joggers are just a fancy name for my leaving the house sweatpants.

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

Instead of showing people driving up mountains, Jeep commercials would be more realistic if they showed people putting rubber ducks on their dashboards.

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

At least I’m the youngest person in this lobby waiting for a colonoscopy.

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

My 11-year-old cat is essentially an adorable middle-aged man who thinks I’m his mother.

[Sir Doucheurtwat @HelmdawgE]

@PeteButtigieg Says the 🤡 who's party is putting their political enemies in jail. #Gaslighting

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

They should make a Prius that can go the speed limit.

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

It’s a 4-way-stop not a Rubik’s cube.

[Sir Doucheurtwat @HelmdawgE]

@PHLPublicHealth Your new name should be changed to "Philadelphia Political Public Opinion Health Department" 🤡🤡🤡

[Sir Doucheurtwat @HelmdawgE]

@PHLPublicHealth I thought this was Babylon Bee joke 🤡🤡🤡

[Sir Doucheurtwat @HelmdawgE]

@BrettJohn17 @tragic_maverick @johnrstrayer @PhillyMayor 😂😂😂

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

Streaming services should have a "Resume From Where You Fell Asleep" button.

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

We can solve cases from 50 years ago with DNA technology but I can’t see a doctor without hand writing my name and address on 50 different sheets of paper?

[Sir Doucheurtwat @HelmdawgE]

@CDCgov Tell your boss to close the border, that's a good start! 🤡🤡

[Sir Doucheurtwat @HelmdawgE]

@PHLPublicHealth 🤡🤡🤡 not happening

[Dreamer @ElgatoEsmio]

started a dating app for people who don’t over use ranch dressing

[Sir Doucheurtwat @HelmdawgE]

@BrettJohn17 @PHLPublicHealth They have to keep up the facade and fear through October so they can allow mail-in balloting. Instead of being happy about some normalcy, they gaslight the citizens into thinking it's still 2020. Disgraceful 🤡🤡

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

If you don't own a dog whistle, you can always use two teenage girls who haven’t seen each other in forever.

[Dreamer @ElgatoEsmio]

I'm not cut out for this cooking class. I thought "blanching" was when you beat off to Golden Girls.