Jack Helston

Grand Cru, Grand Prix, Grand Union...I’ll do it for a grand. Actor and author of my riotous memoirs ‘Hollywood and below’.

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

https://t.co/5MUyoiMy5P

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

Trying not to jump the gun, but murmurings coming from my agent and the resurrected Amicus Films office, (well the pub next door) is that they’re planning a sequel to Gods Mistake. Je suis chomping a la bit!

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

Every morning a blessing. Every day a joy. Every Old Fashioned a little closer to meeting my Makers Mark. A mantra I rarely follow these days. But Shane De Kock, lived and died by it. The Durban Dragon as he was known. Voracious ironically the last movie we made together in 73.

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

I never imagined I’d live to see Redneck Apocalypse become reality! 1981 in deepest Majorca, for a Spanglish/US Revenge Horror mashup. I played Dwight Pilgrim, a bounty hunter in the wrong film let alone the wrong town. But pay was good, & I got to hang with Pat O’Keefe. Beerz 😜

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

Electile Dysfunction.

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

When are the Russians going to stop poisoning each other?! Reminds me of a dire Cold War opus I made in ‘74. The Lucifer Mandate was shot at Bray and on location in Salzburg. 3 weeks at Hotel Goldgasse with my ol pal Len Rudford. Cyanide, Arsenic, Ricin. You name it, we drank it.

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

Oscars Night! Our Industrys Pinnacle of Piss. Summit of Shite. Nirvana of Nose Candy. Bitter? Mois? Closest I ever got was as Rita Sizemore’s guest in ‘66, when she was nommed as Best Supporting for ‘Sacrilege’. She failed to win, but we got totally blootered.

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

Is it just me or is Nancy Pelosi super sexy!? Go girl!

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

Apt for today: I made a terrible movie in ‘81 called ‘Hung Parliament’. During a general election, a serial killer stalked the House of Commons disguised as a tea lady. All MPs were dispatched with their club or trade union ties. I played Leonard Erskine 😂 Deputy PM. Dross.

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

All Hallows’ Eve. I remember Pagan Films on Dean St always did a fantastic job of decorating the office for this. One of their movies that I starred in Shard of Iris, was born after a runner caught his eye on a dangling skeleton. Happy times.

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

Had this epic Swedish last night! Got the wind something chronic afterwards.

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

Hurrah! Ashes begins today! Pre Edgar Wright’s Zombie romp, I played a bad ‘un in a movie called ‘Stumped’. All my victims were dispatched with a 3lb Gray Nicolls bat. Who’d heard of Product Placement in 1981?!

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

Watching Eng vs NZ #CWC on the telly. In the words of the Kaiser Chefs ‘I predict a win!’ 4 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿. I worked with a lovely Kiwi actor in the 70s. Jez Nuttley, smashing guy. We were in an early Ozploitation movie called Torn Asunder. His apres wrap stunt: a nude Haka for the crew.

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

The Trumps in town! They remind me of 2 characters in ‘Barbaric’ a film I starred in from ‘78. A peroxide blonde megalomaniac and his ridiculously curvy entourage of psychotic nuns. Banned by the BBFC, loved by the Spanish. Funny that!

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

Over in ever beautiful NYC for a spot of vacationing. Soho House 4 lunch today, and I’m sure I shared a lift with Macy O’Driscoll. Couldn’t be sure, and you don’t want to presume. Under all that slap it’s difficult to tell. Gods Mistake was the movie we made back in ‘78. Ironic!

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

Ice Maidens of Kraxos Minor. Reykjavik 1965. I spent 2 weeks in a pool full of polystyrene. You try finding that on blue ray!

[Jack Helston @HelstonJack]

This whole Brexit debacle reminds me of a movie I made in 1968, Hung, Drawn and Quartered. Awful cast, terrible script but lovely locations. Died a death at the box office.