Sarah Hemmersbach

Walking Existential Crisis.

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

"I see it. I say it." - me, telling it like it is.

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

One thing my mostly male coworkers learned this week is that no matter how tall they are they will never match the speed of a queer woman walking to her destination.

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

I hope whoever stole my Amazon package yesterday is really enjoying their NON-ALCOHOLIC Negroni Spagliato

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

Referencing viral TikToks in my slack messages to seem youthful and cool but ending them with 😂 to show I am in fact still 30.

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

One of these days BeReal is gonna catch me on the toilet and y’all just better be prepared for that.

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

Sometimes I think millennials get so much media attention is because we’ve got the name that’s the most fun to say.

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

@SenorDavenport Is this a stress breakout or am I wildly ~infectious~?

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

@A24 is testing my will with the targeted ads of the hot dog hands. I DO NOT NEED THEM. But I want em sumpin fierce.

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

@chlzthegreat Let those gams breathe girl!!!

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

@leahtrib I’ve always wanted to do that

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

The girlies on TikTok got me thinking my whole life gonna flip upside down every time the moon is a full pizza pie. 🌚

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

@leahtrib For me it’s always the bag of donate items that sit on my closed porch for months before they make it to my car and eventually make it to a donation drop off.

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

The most astonishing thing about the chicks concert last night wasn’t them canceling early, it was seeing a woman boldly wearing crisp white linen pants at an outdoor venue.

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

At least it’s sexy degrees outside…🥱

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

Being #outatwork looks like wearing my girlfriend’s carhartt baseball hat during all of my zoom meetings

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

I don’t watch dystopian sci fi any more cuz the news got that covered these days

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

I love that the at home COVID tests have turned everyone into little scientists. Look at you, you tiny biochemist!

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

@leahtrib @SaraBareilles But why do I need that ceramic slice of pie?

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

My biological clock is ticking y’all. Let’s play a fun game: Will I lose abortion rights before or after my 30th birthday?

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

My failed attempt at taking a screenshot of @SenorDavenport snapping my sweet Pennifer and Jumphrey doing an affection.

[Sarah Hemmersbach @Hemmersnatch]

@Sara_Rust There’s some people already doing that