Henry

[Lisa @lisareality1]

I had a phone conversation today with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. This is how it went:
"Hello, how are you today?"
"I'm very well thank you for asking, how are you and more to the point, WHO are you?"
"Madam, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft.”
"Microsoft, is that a city in Pakistan?”
" No Madam, MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer.”
"REALLY, that's quite concerning.”
"Yes Madam, it can become very serious indeed but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you.”
"No, I meant it's very concerning because I don't HAVE a computer.”
“You don't?"
“No.”
"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop Madam.”
"Don't have one.”
"Ipad?"
"Nope.”
"Tablet?"
"I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone.”
After a few seconds of silence he said "Madam, you are lying to me now!"
I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.

[Henry @Henryfrombg]

@bbctms Blimey … I thought it was Clarkson at first 😂

[Henry @Henryfrombg]

@bbctms Much as I want England to adopt a sensible approach to their batting, it’s the aggressive way they play the game that gets them in these positions to win … they just need to get a partner for Stokes!

[Henry @Henryfrombg]

@bbctms I hope you’ve got some Coleman’s mustard to go with those pork pies!

[Nick Lumley @lumley_nick]

Sad to leave such a great club but opportunities like this don’t come along every day. Can’t wait to get started in the new year @NSWWaratahs

[Henry @Henryfrombg]

@BenLloydGolfPro congratulations on the new role … really hope it’s a success for you and your family. Good luck.

[Political Partridge @PoliticalAP]

“This is an Ecstasy pellet. The guys here tell me these change hands for £120 each, although they sold me this one at a mate's rate of just 70.”

[Henry @Henryfrombg]

@George_North @btsportrugby Get well soon ... hope it heals well and quick ... there’s always next season, although no Lions. Good luck.

[Henry @Henryfrombg]

@jackswillis7 @btsportrugby Good luck ... don’t you just love those compression socks!

[Jeremy Clarkson @JeremyClarkson]

Can I just say how fucking reassuring it is to see the British Army is now involved in vaccine distribution.

[Cumberwell Park @CumberwellPark]

We are delighted to welcome our members back tomorrow after our second lockdown. The teams have been working hard to ensure the facilities are safe and ready for play.

[Dan Walker @mrdanwalker]

This is bonkers. Wait for the replay 😵🙌🏻😵

[Henry @Henryfrombg]

A couple of hours with the hoe and it all looks neat and tidy after the wind and rain at the weekend @ Broughton Gifford https://t.co/KZkabP8YBp

[Royal Porthcawl Golf Club @Royal_Porthcawl]

Like & RT for a chance to win a 2ball worth £260 in our May Prize Draw! Entry closes at Midnight ⏳ Good luck!

[Henry @Henryfrombg]

@louiseminchin @BBCBreakfast This is my be patch!

[Ali James @alijames1983]

These guys have been superb for last 7 weeks. 👏🏻 It’s been great fun and a real eye opener helping them out during lockdown. Although @Matthew198James would only let me loose on the Rough Mower -
probably a wise move!!
Course looks fantastic - enjoy the return! #PlaySafeStaySafe

[Cumberwell Park @CumberwellPark]

It has been pleasing to see so many of our members back on the course this week in delightful spring sunshine 🌤🏌️‍♂️⛳️ #covid19 #playsafestaysafe

[Ali James @alijames1983]

Despite what your views are I believe @EnglandGolf @ThePGA & @GCMAUK deserve a huge pat on the back for their work overnight & today to enable us to get back to golf. 👏🏻 👍🏻 ⛳️ 🏌️‍♂️
Can’t wait to see all of our @CumberwellPark members back at the club. Social distancing of course!

[Nick Lumley @lumley_nick]

Making the most of quarantine with a 270 #squat at 8pm on a Friday night @ Kimmerghame https://t.co/c76rs0iBPL