John Hess VI

Destroyer of bowling attacks, batting reputations, golf courses and anything cooked with cheese.

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

Been a few years since I smashed @PrioryLlamas everywhere… doubt they’ve improved. Outstanding tea though #bombs #ploughmans

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

A valiant effort from the @twickenhamcc bowlers but I imagine that’s the last time I’m ever asked to play 2nd XI cricket
#bombs #smashedit #genius

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

Better luck next year Div 1. Sadly nothing to trouble the big dog #thanksforcoming

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

Bit warm today. Bombs only 💪

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

📣📣AIMLESS TWITTER ACCOUNT ALERT📣📣📣 Assuming I count as both a bellend and as part of the strong Surrey cricketing pedigree? Some terrible content on your timeline champ… Suggest if you want to stop wasting your time, use some genuine clickbait like me #thesurreychump

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

Always difficult being me on my Birthday… #formaqueueplease

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

Felt sorry for the lads from @oldrutscc today. They simply weren’t fit to lace my boots. This knock will be sending shockwaves through the @SurreyChamp. Hoping there’s a bit more of a challenge next week.... #bombhitter #chinupDoddsy

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

World, I’m back!! It will be raining bombs on Saturday at Cambridge Ave. Don’t miss it 💪

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

@MaldenWndrsCC AGM tonight. Number 1 on the agenda: helmets for the crowd in 2020 as the #bigdog is making a proper comeback #bombs #helmets

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

Food of the #BattingGods 💪 #bombs

[Domino's Pizza UK @Dominos_UK]

All you need to survive the ☀️ #hottestdayoftheyear

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

I see @benstokes38 has finally learned how to hit a reverse sweep for #six. Keep up big man. #so2013 #bombs

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

That's the best 11 runs @FarnhamCricket has ever seen. Imagine there'll be a plaque up soon. #bombs #bigdog

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

. @farnhamherald spread the word.... #thebigshow is in town today hitting bombs up at @FarnhamCricket. Will undoubtedly be the biggest draw out that way for a while.

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

@afc_believe Common sense prevailed. My agent demanded the moron in-charge of selection was sacked. John Hess VI does not play cricket on a playing field. #pony

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

@afc_believe Common sense prevailed. My agent demanded the moron in-charge of selection was sacked. John Hess VI does not play cricket on a playing field. #pony

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

Birthday special. Get yourselves down to @FarnhamCricket for a master class in hitting #bombs. I'd park down the road if I were you #BigDog #bombs

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

🎶Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear #BattingGod , Happy Birthday to me 🎶

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

@MaldenWndrsCC For fucks sake....

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

@afc_believe @dulwichcc No... the whip was in good shape at the end of the day. Thankfully this was a home fixture and we were playing in the salubrious surroundings of Cambridge Avenue.

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

@dulwichcc Can’t say the feeling was mutual.

But even the greats are occasionally humbled. Yesterday’s debacle has made my hunger even greater - so I’m off to the carvery soon.

[John Hess VI @HessyGenius]

Imagine there'll be a few sleepless nights in Dulwich tonight. Nothing you can do about it lads, may as well get some rest #THEcomeback #bombs