Heather kristof

Me? I'm a hairdresser. Wife. enjoy herbs. gardening. dog. 3 cats. cook. socks. thrift stores.

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

Can't believe my husband just said to the dog to stay because "he doesn't get much snuggle time" while I'm lying in bed naked.

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

The difference between "men" and women. We do shit that needs to be done even when we are in pain

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

Just realized Breaking Bad is like Weeds for method.

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

I wish banana clips would come back into style. Every other horrible thing from the 80s has.

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

Wow, the old husband is back yelling and cursing and telling me to shut up. Wtf is it a full moon?

[Richard Hammond @RichardHammond]

Sooo, we are in 'the bit in between': Too early to start acting on New Year Resolutions, bored of eating and drinking all day.
So what now?

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

10 cars deep in the drive thru at Taco Bell

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

what does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like? #myhandshurt

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

Why did Freddy Mercury think a bed of roses would be comfortable?

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

really Taco Bell? Mountain Dew am? OJ and Mountain Dew mixed up right

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

trying to get the balance right between smoke and mirrors

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

I'm late to the #lorislabor party. Awh man, I feel so bad for Rick, his shitty life just got shittier

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

What I miss about being a raver: coming down from the party and thinking I could change the world through positive vibes.

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

half a lifetime ago I was still a teenager

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

Damn you Taylor Swift for your annoying #catchytune about breaking up. Would love an ironic make up song from you

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

I always get startled when I see Cows at night. It's like they should be the barn or something

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

#beforethesong flip flops = thongs

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

Remember when we used to call flip flops thongs?

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

My mom and my aunts are all dumping my "grandma" Deserved! Hope it makes them feel better.

[Heather kristof @Hethyr74]

Dear bicyclist on south east 72nd avenue at woodstock thank you for making eye contact when I did not run you over you had beautiful eyes