The VC sits in a Series A pitch meeting, half-listening to a founder's 47-slide deck about "reimagining the morning routine," while mentally calculating how many other founders he can disappoint before lunch.
It should be illegal to park a Cybertruck at a coffee shop and then spend 45 minutes inside dialing in your pour-over ratio while your Series A deck sits open on the passenger seat.
It should be illegal to raise a Series A on the premise that you've "cracked the code on founder wellness" and your only metric is a screenshot of your Oura ring.
Overheard a founder say "the real insight is that we're all just trying to build something that matters" and then spend 20 minutes optimizing his standing desk height by 0.3 inches.
SF is the only city where a guy with zero revenue and a deck about "democratizing synergy" can convince someone to give him $2M because his advisor once worked at Google.