Simone

the eyes are bright, the tail is bushy

[Simone @HeySim1]

I'm sorry Trump, you did not receive a rose, please say your goodbyes and exit the White House immediately #BachelorInParadise

[Simone @HeySim1]

@jk_rowling @SwipeWright Don’t you have a lawsuit to lose?

[Simone @HeySim1]

@jk_rowling @SwipeWright

[Simone @HeySim1]

@jk_rowling

[Simone @HeySim1]

We need a Broad City episode on this Donald Trump #verdict STAT

[Simone @HeySim1]

Zach dodging that producer rose

#bachelor #TheBachelor

[Simone @HeySim1]

Christina having her meltdown in the entryway of the mansion:

#bachelor #TheBachelor

[Simone @HeySim1]

I do appreciate that Zach enters his group dates the same way RuPaul enters the werk room

#bachelor #TheBachelor

[Simone @HeySim1]

Well friends we had a great two week run, but it looks like the time has come to say goodbye to end-of-episode rose ceremonies

#TheBachelor #bachelor

[Simone @HeySim1]

Zach, who admits his first concert was Nickelback, pretending he loves this artist:

#bachelor #TheBachelor

[Simone @HeySim1]

Honestly the most poignant example I’ve seen of gaslighting on #TheBachelor is the yearly advertisement trying to convince us the senior #bachelor will one day come

[Simone @HeySim1]

For someone who has never kissed Zach before I sure do feel like I know a lot about what it’s like to kiss Zach

#BachelorNation #bachelor #TheBachelor

[Simone @HeySim1]

Watching all the boring storylines masquerade as drama this week:

#TheBachelor #bachelor

[Simone @HeySim1]

Update peanut butter cups are also ruined

#thebachelor #bachelor #BachelorNation

[Simone @HeySim1]

I’ll never be able to listen to the words “Bad Bitch Energy” with a straight face again

#thebachelor #BachelorNation

[Simone @HeySim1]

I’ll never be able to listen to the words “Bad Bitch Energy” with a straight face again

#thebachelor #BachelorNation

[Simone @HeySim1]

The girls: *discussing what it’s like to kiss Zach*
Gabi:

#TheBachelor #bachelor

[Simone @HeySim1]

Zach: “I think the date is going really well!”
The date:

#bachelor #TheBachelor

[Simone @HeySim1]

By the time the Senior Bachelor season airs, I’LL be old enough to join the cast

#bachelor #TheBachelor

[Simone @HeySim1]

Christina looking around this “family reunion” for Patrick Warburton

#bachelor #TheBachelor

[Simone @HeySim1]

Producers seeing the girls get along for 5 minutes and sending Tahzjuan to ruin it:

#TheBachelor #bachelor

[Simone @HeySim1]

I love to hate how awkward and nonsensical the first group dates always are
#bachelor #TheBachelor