part time douchebag

don’t know what i’m searching for but catch me lookin 👀 she/her. I’m a sad gay. rip mac. BLACK LIVES MATTER

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

Remembering that one time my therapist referred to me as homosexual but when I said I had never had anyone actually reference me as a “homosexual” she said, “well I wasn’t going to call you a dyke”

OK GIRL LOL

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

The challenge is for Rob sands fundraising team to STOP TEXTING ME. And go!

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

How crazy would it be if I asked the leasing agent if I could go potty while I tour apartments ? Gotta make sure the plumbings good right?

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

If there’s one bull I’ll die on it’s that I HATE when people post something with a QR code online. Knock that silly shit off right now.

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

#NewProfilePic

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

It’s 3:17 am and this bitch rings your apartment doorbell. What do you do? ⤵️Wrong answers only

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

Back on this hellhole again for the shits and gigs.

Mostly shits. Don’t ask it’s against HIPPA

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

Anyone ever fart while getting a Brazilian?share your experience

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

Hour early here…but happy birthday Malcom, it’d be your day in PA. &You’re PA’s baby 💕

[The Mac Miller Memoir @MacMillerMemoir]

Happy Birthday, Malcolm 🤍🕊️

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

Haven’t used this in over a year but the clock app is off and my little brain needs s o m e t h I n g

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

@breezybreadley Omg what nicki song is this

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

@MaryH3206 Century link is ASS!!!! I’m stuck with Mediacom rn for 95$ and I don’t know if I want to switch to city or metronet.

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

My boss noticed that I get sick on Mondays a lot and those are the days I need to take PTO on— I realized it’s because I’m so severely stressed out having to go to work that I throw up from
Stress daily before going in and it’s the worst on Mondays 🫠

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

What a time to be alive by future and drake is slept on

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

@tanner4a46 So true

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

Anyone actually pay the camera tickets? Like prove it’s me, I wasn’t driving my car that day..

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

PSA: don’t ask for a nipple piercing and take off your shirt before they say no. Awkward.

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

Part of me wants to get in a car accident so I don’t have to trade in my car. It’s on its last leg anyway, but I feel like that would be more proper than trading it in for it to get chopped for parts

[part time douchebag @HeyThatsMeSam]

I know I don’t need another cat but doesn’t seymour need a friend??