Jovie Hochwitz

Anti-communist. Lutheran. #BRA
I don't have a "motif." I was accused of just saying things and typing things. Wrong. I am just typing things.

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

I grew up about a 20 min drive from Red Rocks. I have seen about 40 front-row/2nd-row concerts there! Back in the day, we locals used to do practice runs on the stairs to optimize our capability to run to first row. (It was free when there wasn't a concert going on.)

The stairs start out as wider concrete platforms, so you have to run/leap to the edge of each platform until you got down to the front, wherein it became little, little, little so you modify from wide leaps to small jumps at the end. (The mistake the non-locals made was run but take a run-step in the middle of each wider platform at the top. We beat 'em because you have to leap to the edge of the next platform stair--no step in the middle of it. Beat you by 10 seconds!!!)

First two rows were always locals because, back then, you partied in the parking lot for about 4 hours before the concert, and the minute it was door-opening time, we ran to the door and lined up before everyone else even knew what was happening .

It was no ticketed seats--just open admission, so we knew how to beat the non-locals every single damned time!

I'm sure the premium rows are ticketed by now, but back then it was free-for-all and who can navigate the quickest!

I did not see this Parcels concert, but it shows how beautiful that concert amphitheater is! I'm a lucky duck to have grown up so near it.

https://t.co/BzHXqtKVQ8

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@Opiumbrella @kawazoe316 @carrotcottagerr I've been in Vlore for 4 years. Been in my current apartment for 2 years. Really a bummer I need to move. It's a cozy, homey apartment with a cool landlady.

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@Opiumbrella @kawazoe316 @carrotcottagerr
Oh my god, I have to move by October first because my Italian landlady totally broke up with her boyfriend and wants her apartment back.

I have been here for 2 years (vocal fry), but now I have to move (claw-hand of redemption).

I tried to view an apartment, but the agent started being combative with me. "WE have other people looking!"

Turned out to be a scammer honey pot. I was like, "Yeah, so when do you want to meet up?"

"Are you even in Vlore right now?"

"Yeah, I am. I live about a 5 minute walk away."

Scammer had a meltdown.

"You are the scammer!"

"I just wanted to look at the apartment."

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@carrotcottagerr Leaves. I wanna be there.

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@Opiumbrella @kawazoe316 @carrotcottagerr You give me terms and conditions right now!

Huh? I'm lookin' around. Mistook me for an American who would give money by text?

Also, been here 4 years.

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

I won't take a pic of my texts, but I will give you a transcript:

Transcript of some special things at the end of our convo. I had already scoped the "agent" and bugged her about it. This is toward the end:
Agent: So you contact an agent and don't know? No guarantees until then. 🤣
Me: That's fine. We're not a match.
Agent: How you tell I not a match?
Me: It's fine. We don't match.

[Blah, blah blah, but it was funny> and superfluous]

Me: It looks like you are trying to make a deal by text.
Agent: I don't...YOU. I don't make text.
Me: Ok, show me the apartment.
Agent: I am showing you the terms and conditions.
Me: I want to look at it.
Agent: Are you even in Vlore right now?
Me: Yeah, I live about a 5-minute walk away from that apartment.
Agent: YOU ARE A SCAMMER!
Me: I was trying to look at the apartment (already on block--lol.)

I summarized the text exchange but lol.

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@Opiumbrella @kawazoe316
https://t.co/tSQybmxhn5

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

I seriously don't give out my number to expats. I have 3 Albanian RE agents, my immigration lawyer, two female Albanian friend who live in Tirane (capitol city 2.5 hour drive away), a brother of one friend, and a handy man.

Some bitch was trying to school me about having 5 burner phones. I replied, "Oh, I just don't give out my number."

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

Opiumumbrella @kawazoe316 @carrotcottagerr

Did anyone notice that tortilla chips have the texture of pre-digested corn mulch with flavorings on them?

(Sorry for saying it with American spelling, Chris.)

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@Opiumbrella @kawazoe316 @carrotcottagerr Well, sometimes I need a chip to be like a tortilla chip because I miss Tex-Mex. I don't give out my phone number to the expats here. I tell them, "If you want my number, be prepared to receive 15 texts about how much I miss tacos."

It is understood that I am not a bitch.

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@kawazoe316 @carrotcottagerr @Opiumbrella You are so sweet. I'm moving you to Silver. Th bunnies are at Bronze level now.

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@carrotcottagerr See? You are first in the lineup!

@Opiumbrella @kawazoe316

Hi! Did you guys want to know something? The very first time I traveled outside the USA was to England for an entire month! I was 19.

I went on tour for a month doing merchandising for an English band called Sofa Head. I had produced a live album for them on purple splash vinyl.
I met up with them at King's Cross in London, and we went all the way from London down to Cornwall, up to Leeds, and finally I wound up in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne.

I took my ass back down to London for a week and stayed with a guy who lived in Ladbroke Grove just outside London. He was merchandising for other bands--caught his number and stayed for free in zone 2. Takes about 15 minutes on the tube to be direct in the city center.

Along the way, we did a couple shows with a one-hit-wonder on MTV called Leatherface.
https://t.co/CGaL8RWXlx

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@WomensSocIre We've lost the grip. Or we have just started.

I really don't want to say what I have to say, but the sentence ends with extinction.

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@Opiumbrella I'm sorry, Buff. I want to come home and protect my elderly folks. I hear you.

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@carrotcottagerr Oh no. You didn't. It's a BAAABY!!

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@CrunchAlias But the slightest micro-energy acted the same way as a man, Sam. However, I never even had an MRI. Trust me, it is in the brain.

Sam! I can show pics of my brain. I DO actually have a brain issue, but no one will give me plastic surgery for free. Removed, Jan 2011.

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@ClimateWarrior7 Why? Were you hoping for me to get mental instead?

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@carrotcottagerr Proper drawing in pencils of color. (No superfluous "u".)

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@thefempire50 You do not even know about my fetish, LOLA, ha ha. We are winning and will be the only ones who can tell you to shut you mouth or open it around...
/s

Take my...

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@Opiumbrella Ha! hahaaaaaa!

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@kawazoe316 @carrotcottagerr @Opiumbrella Don't forget. Tortilla chips don't have the texture of Doritos. I'm saving the world.

Doritos used to have air pockets and be like real chips. They made a flavor but changed the texture into pre-formed corn mulch dusted with the flavor.

[Jovie Hochwitz @HighwitHouse]

@kawazoe316 @carrotcottagerr I added @Opiumbrella but forgot the @ sign. Did you notice that your tortilla chips are getting a weird texture?