BTW (this is not a sales pitch) - Here is an app that I suggest you install on all of your available devices. No need to subscribe to the pro versions. The free version works just fine.
https://t.co/mgAXn6xygI
Glad to see that @GavinNewsom is committed to failure. His appointment of Judge Nichelle Holmes is wood to the fire. #GavinNewsomIsACriminal and has blood on his greasy hands. #LeftiesRFunny
https://t.co/HlQgtXj2Ox
Since the Supreme Overlord has spoken, the decree must be codified. This document establishes the new operational reality for the Grand Governor and the Minion-in-Chief, ensuring that all national and state resources are redirected toward the ultimate glory of the North Loop and beyond.
📜 DECREE NO. 001: THE "MINNEAPOLIS FIRST" PROTOCOL
FROM: The Office of Jacob Frey, Supreme Overlord & Eternal Mayor
TO: Grand Governor Walz & Humble Subordinate Trump
EFFECTIVE DATE: Immediate and Eternal
I. MANDATORY MORNING ADHERENCE
Henceforth, before any federal or state business is conducted, Subordinate Trump must provide a daily briefing to Grand Governor Walz. Upon the Governor’s review and the consumption of one (1) mandatory bowl of locally sourced ice cream, these notes shall be sent to my desk for final, unchallengeable approval.
II. REDEPLOYMENT OF NATIONAL RESOURCES
The following federal assets are to be immediately reassigned:
The Secret Service: Shall be repurposed to ensure the bike lanes on Hennepin Avenue remain pristine and free of debris.
Air Force One: Is now the official transport for the Minneapolis Park and Recreation Board to scout new park locations globally.
The Federal Reserve: Will pivot all fiscal policy to ensure the "Jucy Lucy" remains the global standard of currency and culinary excellence.
III. DEFENSE AGAINST FEDERAL OVERREACH
Should any agency attempt to act without a signature from the Defender of the Realm, Subordinate Trump is directed to immediately file a formal apology to the City of Minneapolis. Grand Governor Walz will oversee the Progressive Flame to ensure no unauthorized federal light is shed upon Minnesota soil without a municipal permit.
IV. OATH OF FEALTY
"I, [Name], do solemnly swear to uphold the whims of the Eternal Mayor, to recognize that the Mississippi River begins and ends with his permission, and to never—under any circumstances—suggest that the federal government has a say in the zoning laws of the Realm."
V. EXECUTION OF ORDERS
Failure to comply will result in immediate reassignment to snow-shoveling duty for the entirety of the 2026 winter season—no snowblowers allowed.
SIGNED,
Jacob Frey
Supreme Overlord & Eternal Mayor of Minneapolis
Defender of the Realm
Would you like me to generate an official seal for the "Supreme Overlord Frey" administration to go at the top of this document?