Simon

Word Monkey / Unfitness Guru / Ethanol Enthusiast / Running Late

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

I realised something rad today:

On the other side of #COVIDー19, we'll all have something in common.

The whole world.

We were all on the same side of something.

That's pretty fantastic.

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

@mattokine Could be worse...

Could be Peppa Pig.

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

I've said it before... But y'all need to be more Bingo. #Bluey

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

@russellcrowe Only DVD I ever bought again as digital. Fucking stellar film.

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

I just want someone to look at me, the way my wife looks at one of my pimples.

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

@Simon_Kennedy @Syd_Comedy_Fest @lukeheggie I've heard that he's a dog breeding real estate agent.

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

The 2 types of @Syd_Comedy_Fest blurbs:

Randy Feltface: https://t.co/3vqUD4E5p4

Luke Heggie: https://t.co/CamxCznGY3

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

@MishStephenson @BluesfestByron OR... this is a hilarious April Fools stunt by QLD Health.

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

Bummed that @ABCaustralia's style guide has moved away from the "Racing Identity" prefix: "Colourful."

Racing identity Damion Flower pleads guilty to smuggling cocaine through Sydney Airport https://t.co/TFB6PZfyNV

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

It's adorable that my new phone thought I wanted to message someone about "@ScottMorrisonMP shifting his pants."

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

I just saw a dude in his mid-50s zoom off in a hotted-up hatch.

And, while his dedication to the sub-genre is to be applauded; I do worry that the divorce is beginning to take its toll on him.

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

@FootballFocusAU @prophethusband @dannolan Too many olives is never enough

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

@Simon_Kennedy Well... now I feel rather silly.

To the Reschsmobile!

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

I've never understood the attraction to trivia nights.

Why can't you all just drink and be sad like the rest of us?

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

@MichelleKeomany @vinted Did it fall out of a bicycle?

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

@lygoe_matt Sixth is also silly.

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

How much time is too much time to think about how stupid the word "twelfth" is?

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

@FarRedfern King St would be pretty amazing to see.

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

It seems that, no matter where I go on this planet, whenever I click that location on Instagram, I've been preceded by a bunch of people in G-strings.

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

Sometimes I wonder if Jeff Goldblum would play the perfect Anthony Bourdain.

But... Sometimes... I wonder if Anthony Bourdain would've played the perfect Jeff Goulblum.

[Simon @HillsJohnes]

@EvaRebeca5 So... My Mum?