There is something quietly attractive about being envied.
Envy act's as proof. If others wish they had what you have, then perhaps what you have matters. For that reason, people sometimes chase not success itself, but the reaction success produces.
Being envied is a strange measure because it often times tells you more about the observer than about the person being observed. A person may envy wealth because they feel trapped. Another may envy confidence because they feel unseen. Another may envy discipline because they distrust their own ability to change. Envy often reveals desire wearing the mask of resentment. In that sense, being envied does not necessarily mean you are admirable; it means you have become a mirror for something unresolved in another person.
Just because envy can reveal something unresolved does not mean it is inherently evil. Sometimes Envy appears in response to real excellence. People may envy those who have built themselves with care because achievement makes neglected potential harder to ignore. Excellence can create discomfort because it exposes unrealized possibilities.
The danger begins when envy becomes the goal. To live in order to be envied is to hand ownership of your life to spectators. Your worth rises and falls with comparison. Achievement becomes performance. Improvement becomes display. Eventually, nothing is enough because envy requires distance. Once others catch up, the identity collapses and demands a new audience.
Do not aim to be envied; aim to build a life of substance.
To build something that remains valuable even if nobody notices. To become capable, disciplined, thoughtful, alive. If admiration comes, accept it lightly. If envy comes, understand that it may say as much about the other person as it does about you. As Steiner wrote, ���The highest form of love is that which enhances the freedom of the other.”
The strongest form of success is perhaps not causing others to wish they were you. It is perhaps becoming someone who no longer needs them to.
Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will