James Hirschfeld

James K Polk Middle School

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

taking photos out of my plane window knowing damn well I’ll never look at these again

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

Challengers made me want to divorce my nonexistent wife

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

I want to be clear I know Twitter is dead but this is funny and I stand by it forever.

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

Schrödinger’s Inbox:
(me refusing to check if she responded to my 3am DM)

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

It’s March bro c’mon time to take down the Halloween decorations

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

Would’ve paid at least $12 to see a cutaway shot to Shane Gillis’ dad during that 21 Savage performance #SNL

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

Hot Ones but with 10 spicy margaritas and each is spicier than the last

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

personally very happy Taylor swift won the Super Bowl cuz Nick Bosa used to play golf at the course I worked at he would tip zero dollars and also leave his carts in the parking lot

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

https://t.co/BuBtrVe6y9

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

Who's Your Daddy?

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

just ate a kiwi with the skin, i'm a man.

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

@LouStagner I’ve shot 74 with 8 birdies and it still eats at me.

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

@mac_harris that’s also where I gave up, lmk how we do

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

@mac_harris Great wind up just needs more airtime, increasing his launch angle would help a ton. He’ll get there.

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

do you think every black peacoat is born with the dream of one day making it to New York City

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

@mac_harris can’t get anyone pregnaut if you don’t do sex 🤝

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

being pregnant is embarrassing cuz then you have to admit you had sex

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

@AndreaPCarmona it’s 11:30pm on a school night

[James Hirschfeld @HirschfeldJames]

@CskOuttaNowhere @DailyLoud That ‘70s Show