𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓

A new muse by #VeronicaStewGiver! Writer is 18+ and so is Muse. DMs open, please be respectful.

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

"It's hard to do what's right,
For ourselves and others
Get under the covers,
Get out of the city, you should call your lover
We should be friends.
There's no time for grudges,
We don't have the budget,
Time is better spent on
Trying again."

Written by #VeronicaStewGiver

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

--her own condition, but ignoring it didn't work, either.

"It's never the same. I'm not the same, It's like I wasn't there for /any/ of it."

She was soon receptive to her touch again, but that didn't make her any less tense.

"I'm sorry. I... don't know what's wrong with me."

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

"You act like it's that simple," she sighed, ever so slightly leaning away from her when she tried to hug her.

"I-... I didn't even like him all that much! I didn't even /get/ a mother, and I have nothing to give her but problems."

She wasn't even sure how to handle--

[R̶o̶s̶a̶ '𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖑' R̶e̶d̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ @dedecusumbrae]

"Tasi..."

She didn't know what to say, so she simply hugged her wife closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Something's better than nothing. And maybe telling her about him will help unlock some of those memories."

She wasn't the most experienced with amnesia and lost +

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

"Well... I suppose I can hardly argue as long as you say things are fine. Maybe they'll be nicer to you? Or... pretend to be, but that's not exactly preferred..."

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

"Only what I'd written about in my notebook. Even those aren't... the same. It's like someone else told me what it was like."

A lot of important memories she had still weren't all put together, missing pieces. It bothered her, that she had little to contribute even now. +

[R̶o̶s̶a̶ '𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖑' R̶e̶d̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ @dedecusumbrae]

"You still have your memories of him."

Raizel gave her wife another gentle squeeze, concerned by the melancholy in her voice. She pondered Tasi's question, knowing it was something she had to face sooner or later.

"Maybe... If that's something necessary for Chloe to have a +

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

She couldn't very well do it herself.

"At least that's good. I wouldn't want her to be unhappy either. Do you... ever think you'll forgive them for whatever it is they did to you to make you so upset with them?"

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

"Yes, her... knowing some is good. My father was gone a long time ago. I...don't have much to give or show her."

Her voice was a mixture of sad, bitter, and maybe a little ashamed in a way. Nothing good, really. She was inclined to let them spoil her; +

[R̶o̶s̶a̶ '𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖑' R̶e̶d̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ @dedecusumbrae]

"I... don't want her to not know her family and her heritage. Whatever my beef with them, I don't want her to suffer for it."

She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. As angry as she might still be at her family, it wouldn't be fair to deprive their daughter of a relationship +

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

"You really would? I'm sure... I'm sure she'd love to see it. But... you hardly speak of anything to do with your mother. Are... you sure?"

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

"It might be more exciting than Algeria. I... don't remember if we've ever gone to Egypt, but I know it was close enough that I could have."

She was interested when whichever series she'd picked came on, but her attention was quickly shifted when she mentioned Vigrid. +

[R̶o̶s̶a̶ '𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖑' R̶e̶d̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ @dedecusumbrae]

"I think there are a few of those available to watch. Maybe something on Egypt? That's a pretty popular topic..."

She pulled up the first expedition based docuseries she could find, cuddling her wife close as it began to play.

"Maybe when Chloe's a little older? I'd love to +

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

--small shrug.

"Maybe... other people who explored like I did. Sometimes I wonder who else got further than me. I almost wish I could go again like that. On another expedition."

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

"What do you mean? What do they do if they can't tell how things were correctly?"

She squinted at her, but nodded anyways. She hated how books and whatnot weren't all the way accurate either.

She thought for a short while when asked what she'd want to see, offering a--

[R̶o̶s̶a̶ '𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖑' R̶e̶d̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ @dedecusumbrae]

"There's a network called The History Channel but they aren't the best at depicting factual history.... Maybe we can find a documentary instead?"

She flipped through the streaming apps, searching for mini-series or feature length documentaries that fell under the history +

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

--history on there?" She pointed at the television, tilting her head a little bit.

"I can't... quite read anything on there to be able to know very well."

She eventually took her mug when it was warm enough, holding it and taking an idle sip here or there.

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

She wasn't too bothered at their lack of proximity for now, but she was all too happy to make room for her when she came back, likely already pressed against her before she could even sit down.

"I sit through them any other... Hold on. Is there a... do they ever talk about--

[R̶o̶s̶a̶ '𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖑' R̶e̶d̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ @dedecusumbrae]

Rai didn't like being away from Tasi much either, so she hurried about making the tea so she could get back to the living room. Once the kettle boiled, she poured the hot water into the mugs and carried them out, setting one on the coffee table in front of her wife and keeping +

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

She only moved when her partner came to see her, laying either on top of her or beside her when she got there.

"Whatever you decide to watch, don't make me be cold for too long, yes?"

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

The affection she got certainly helped her condition, and eventually she was bundled up on the couch when she was set down. She was always a little uneasy whenever she left the room, but she wouldn't trouble her with that.

"Put on what you want. I just... want to sit with you."+

[R̶o̶s̶a̶ '𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖑' R̶e̶d̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ @dedecusumbrae]

"I'll make your tea, then we can cuddle on the couch, sound good?"

Rai kissed the tip of her wife's nose, fixing her with her biggest smile and wrapping her arms around her before gently lifting Tasi into her arms. She carried her into the living room, reluctantly setting her +

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

--her arms around her neck, wanting held, even if for a little while.

"Lay down with me. We'll... find something nicer to talk about."

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

"Please. I'd appreciate it." She held her stomach when she was nervous, pressing her frame against her wife's. Both made her feel better, but not thinking about all that other stuff was certainly the best thing to do.

"Take me with you." She gently wrapped--

[R̶o̶s̶a̶ '𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖑' R̶e̶d̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ @dedecusumbrae]

"Just breathe, okay love? Want me to make you some tea or something?"

She smiled softly down at her wife, trying to maintain a sense of calm with some many emotions swirling within her. Tasi's wellbeing was far more important at the moment than Raizel's desire to find the +

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

She pressed her forehead against her, but she didn't seem any better yet.

"I'm not... I don't feel well. I don't think my... body forgot how that medicine I used to have felt. I know it won't be good for her."

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

She was tense and shivered when she touched her, barely able to sit still. She didn't like remembering.

"You... If it helps... you can have my notebook. From my expedition. Everything I ever had on it is... in there. Just... can we look at it later? Together?" +

[R̶o̶s̶a̶ '𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖑' R̶e̶d̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ @dedecusumbrae]

She gently pulled her wife back into her embrace, stroking her hair and kissing her temple. Anything to calm her down.

"You don't have to face her alone, love. Let me help, please..."

It would be difficult not to indulge her curiosity, she /had/ to know more about this +

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

...I'll do it right this time."

She started to relax some, eventually leaning on her again, but she still looked anxious.

"I'm sorry. I... don't know what's wrong with me."

[𝕬𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓 @HlST0RYERASER]

"No, no, no, you-- no you aren't. No you're not. You're /not/," she mumbled, starting to grind her teeth together.

"Even if it kills me. No you're not." She let go of her arm now, shaking her head.

"I can't... I can't fail you too. I'll figure out how to... +

[R̶o̶s̶a̶ '𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖑' R̶e̶d̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶ @dedecusumbrae]

"Tasi..."

Rai didn't know what to say. The more she heard about this Tin Hinan, the angrier she felt. How dare this creature target her wife, plague her thoughts and haunt her dreams.

"I'm going to find out everything I can about this thing. If there's a chance she could +