Let's talk about the way, tanrak kinda got tensed when barth back hug him but immediately relaxed THAT FAST REACTION of comfort of being with your lover. Also the little SWAY?!!! they're both so romantic 🥹😭😫😔
#TicketToHeavenEP5
barth has his mom. she may be in prison, but she’s still there. he knows she loves him unconditionally and accepted him so completely that she was willing to sacrifice everything to protect him. he has someone he can visit, someone he can talk to without restraint. he still gets to hear her voice. as painful as home is, it also holds the happiest memories he’s ever had. and their home is there.
tanrak has none of that.
he’ll never hear his parents’ voices. he’ll never know whether they would’ve accepted him or loved him for who he is. he has little to no record or memory of their faces, their laughter, their voices. no home to return to. no parent to confide in. no one with whom he can exist without holding parts of himself back.
him talking to father about his love from inside the confession booth was heartbreaking. because to everyone in tanrak’s life, being himself and loving barth is something to confess. something to repent for. a sin.
barth has his mom and tanrak.
tanrak only has barth.
and watching barth love tanrak unconditionally, with such unwavering devotion, makes me so happy. to barth, tanrak’s happiness is all that matters. it’s the kind of love tanrak has deserved his entire life but never got to experience after losing his parents at such a young age, until barth came along.
and that’s what makes it so painful.
the one person who lets tanrak be completely himself, is also the person he believes he has to let go of. because he’s been taught it’s wrong. the only place where tanrak feels seen, accepted, and free is the very thing he doesn’t think he’s allowed to keep.
barth has given tanrak a home. and tanrak believes he has to walk away from it.
#TicketToHeavenEP5