Mike

Putting the fun in erectile dysfunction

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

Training myself to say “when am I” instead of “what time is it”

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

Mild-mannered implies the existence of moderate-to-severe-mannered

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

In 2024 why are there still un-programmable thermostats

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

Balthazar is not a real name, there are no actual people named Balthazar

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

You should be able to take an optional driving test that lets you drive a little drunk if you’re good at it

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

Who fucking decided what mattress sizes would be called

There is absolutely no discernible pattern

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

@alyankovic hear me out

A song halfway between Rap God and Rap Devil called Rap Person

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

We should probably embargo Texas at this point

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

@nathanfielder Just watched the finale of The Curse.

Fuck you!

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

Half grain bread when

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Ruth’s Chris Steak House

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

https://t.co/IlGO8nBPQC

Me and who?

[george watsky @gwatsky]

⏲️🔺

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

Abbreviating suggestion to sugg

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

Saran Wrap 2 when

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

@kpittman23

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

What the FUCK does bet mean

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

me, after the vasectomy

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

Mind ordering deez nuts?

(I’m sorry)

[Mike @Hoellecopter]

Pronouncing BLT as “bolt”