Rob Portman

This account translates Senator Rob Portman's tweets into what they would say if he were honest.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman Can we get ‘out with the old, in with the new’ for a certain OH senator?

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman @POTUS That’s how DC works. I don’t call Trump out on all his bullshit, and I get one of my pet projects pushed through so you assholes can’t say I don’t do anything.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman Shit. What am I going to do now that my pet projects are wrapping up? Well we all know I won’t be hosting town halls. That’s for sure lol.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@DPress7 @senrobportman @xeniagazette You can trade in optimism for a set of bootstraps to pull yourself up with.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman And by 'constituents' I mean pre-screened republicans who won't actually ask me tough questions or hold me accountable.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman Lol WalMart has never done anything pro-employee

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@marion_ohio That's why I'll never do another true town hall. I don't have time to deal with people who aren't going to donate. You think I got my 'A' rating from the NRA by doing town halls with gun victims? Tell 'em @PortmansLastTH

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@chafvb @senrobportman We did excellent, thank you. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you lowly working class peasants who won't fare as well.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman Guns should not be as easier to buy than cough medicine. Whoops! Meant to say that drugs shouldn't be as easy to ship as an envelope. Gun regulations are perfect just how they are.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman There we go. Got the tweets about the cops and the Florida kids out of the way. Now it's back to bombarding people about my pet projects!

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman Neither the loss of our local police officers or the children in florida will change my views on gun control.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman $180k in NRA donations per victim yesterday. So now you all know I value a life at (most) <$180k.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman @SenJohnThune @JerryMoran I can't hear you all calling for gun law reform over the sound of me counting all my NRA donation.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman @SenJohnThune @JerryMoran I have 3,061,941 reasons why I will not be commenting further on yesterday's shooting.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman No further comment on the shooting yesterday. I already sent 23 thoughts and 14 prayers. That's more than enough.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman @POTUS If there's one thing I've heard over and over from Ohioans the past year, it's that we need more tanks.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman I'm urging my colleagues to think about all the money we could make if we'd just work together to fuck over America.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@SteveS37227106 @senrobportman That woman needs to pull herself up by her bootstraps and get to work! Thanks to tax reform America is open for business again!

That's what you wanted me to say, right Donny? Oh shit is this still on.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman I don't get why everyone is pissed about their extra $1.50 a month? Go hit up the dollar menu and shut up. Tax reform is a great thing. I made a ton of money off it, so I know I like it.

[Rob Portman @HonestPortman]

@senrobportman Those investments definitely weren't planned well before the tax reform passed. Business only plan a few weeks ahead of time with stuff like that. It's definitely because of the tax reform.