Idk I'm Just Some Shark

i am shark. i got this chumcast connection from a friend so i'm checking out human internet and these things called memes. i think they're a new species? idk

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

humans it is shark awarenesses day. here are some things I am aware of:

A rock

The fish over there

Pawning off the responsibility of reducing plastic pollution onto individual consumers instead of addressing the larger industrial issues is some grade a classism

Lots of sand

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

@langham_orla but also sure. i do not care if you are a lord. we can be friends.

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

@langham_orla human where is coochie and why are you no longer the ruler of this land

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

@cowboyneedsaHAT What is a serotuna

it sounds delicious

please give me some human

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

@mcmsharksxx hello yes a human bit me once

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

Oh wow this is really awkward

I thought we were seeing other people...

I uh... Wow. I'm flattered, though.

https://t.co/jJLuIpQKrX

[New York Post @nypost]

Woman shouts 'I still love sharks' after being attacked by one https://t.co/0C1Sge2PBQ

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

if anyone has a spare job lying around my human friend says they need one

idk what you use a job for but it sounds very important

i just use my teeth for most things tbh

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

i need to chase down food first but i will be back to watch this and share my thoughts with you humans

i am very excited

i only know that humans are obsessed and it contains music and maybe a gun

idk what a gun is but it sounds exciting

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

anyway i'm here because my dentist told me about this human show called hamilton and that i should watch it before humanity collapses so i guess i'm gonna do that

(my dentist is a cleaner wrasse named Ida and she is awesome. 5 stars.)

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

humans I am sad for what is happening

i liked you

i mean you made my house really gross and killed my cousin steve but other than that you were ok

i liked shark week

even if i'm not quite sure what a week is

i hope you get through this

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

@IgnoredAmbience Oh HELL no. Back to the water I go. Good luck up there human.

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

Hey humans it's been a while how is everything going up th-

oh

oh god

oh wtf

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

WTF IS A MURDER HORNET!!?!???

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

I was gone for LESS THAN A YEAR. HOW DID IT GET THIS BAD?!

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

I have no concept of human's arbitrary measurements of time but I'm still excited!!

[Shark Week @SharkWeek]

IT'S OFFICIALLY #SHARKWEEK! 🦈

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

Someone asked how I'm able to talk to you all.

I have a subscription to Sea Mobile that lets me get online.

Not to confused with Tea Mobile. That one's only available in the Boston harbor.

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

@KidsDrDave Fair. That's how I feel about humans

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

HELLO HUMANS. I HEAR YOU R CELEBRATING US AGAIN

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

@clairegrisss I hear upsetting news is the hot thing in the human world right now

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

Humans, I just want to make this clear:

Megalodon doesn't not still exist.

Not in the way that a good man does not exist.

Like, they're actually super extinct. They dead. RIP megalodon.

Unlike your dating problems, this isn't something that could be solved with therapy.

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

A human once tried to tell me "you don't know! Maybe the megalodon is just hiding! We don't know everything about the ocean!"

Well I don't know everything about you, Kevin, but that doesn't mean I'm going to believe you've secretly got hidden depths of potential.

[Idk I'm Just Some Shark @HonestShark]

@FunnelFiasco You mean SHELL SITE!?

Ahahaha just kidding this place is more full of trash than the Pacific coast.