Honest Toddler

Potty trained.

[Honest Toddler @HonestToddIer]

It's funny how store mannequins can be naked but the second you take off your pants people want to call security.

[Honest Toddler @HonestToddIer]

Watching TLC. A man got too big and had to be cut out of his house. That happened to my friend but they called it a c-section.

[Honest Toddler @HonestToddIer]

If you didn't win the Powerball tonight don't be sad. You're still old enough to buy any cereal you want so you've already won.

[Honest Toddler @HonestToddIer]

You don't need the Powerball. If you can reach the stove to make a grilled cheese any time of day you're already blessed.

[Honest Toddler @HonestToddIer]

So what if you didn't win the Powerball? If you eat Reese's cups year-round you're already rich in the only way that matters.

[Honest Toddler @HonestToddIer]

Why does anyone need 1.5 billion when Doritos are $3 a bag? You've lost focus.

[Honest Toddler @HonestToddIer]

The goal was always to get dessert whether or not you finished dinner. You made it. You're living the dream.

[Honest Toddler @HonestToddIer]

The winner of the Powerball will never know who their real friends are. You're broke. People like you for you.

[Honest Toddler @HonestToddIer]

New Kidz Bop album is fire 🔥🔥🔥

[Honest Toddler @HonestToddIer]

*thousands perish from poverty daily*
Adults: Oh.
*two celebrities pass away*
Adults: EVERYONE'S DYING!!