Hammurabi’s Chode

lowest net worth J.P. Morgan Private Bank Client, Certified Tismo, Auburn sports victim

[Jack @GayLaVie]

IF YOU’RE IN LINE TO EAT THE PAINT CHIPS FLAKING OFF THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL REFLECTING POOL, STAY IN LINE

[Hammurabi’s Chode @HootersLM]

good morning to everyone except the guy in the F350 that hit the spare car this morning

[Hammurabi’s Chode @HootersLM]

NYC will be smoking crater tomorrow morning #KnicksIn5

[sc @SneakyCanadian]

Shit I see when I take 25 Benadryls.

[Swervo5️⃣ @4KTSwervo]

nightmare blunt rotation

[Hammurabi’s Chode @HootersLM]

never in my life have I witnessed a basketball game like that

And my absolute boy was in the building to witness it

KNICKS IN 5

[Auburn Football @AuburnFootball]

Freddy's one of us fr 🦅

[Hammurabi’s Chode @HootersLM]

Auburn is the most incredible place on the planet

[Freddy🇩🇪 @FreddyLA7]

This is the most “The European mind can’t comprehend this” moment of my life. One of my friends said, “Punch me five times tomorrow and I’ll still think this isn’t real.”

[KJ 🏂 @ElunHatesMe]

I advise you lil niggas to get the fuck out the way

[Hammurabi’s Chode @HootersLM]

@wardamnbilly I’m looking for a beater Macan but I won’t touch the turbos with a 10 foot pole they get expensive real quick when something goes wrong whereas the base ones are just big golfs

[doomer @uncledoomer]

imagine you and the other scheming vizier have your hopes of installing a puppet regent utterly dashed when your liege's bride at long last bears a male heir.

[claire de lune @ClaireMPLS]

i’m just gonna say it: some of yall aren’t qualified for self checkout. if you don’t have an internal sense of urgency and fine motor skills, leave it to the professionals cause the rest of us are trying to keep it pushin

[Hammurabi’s Chode @HootersLM]

I'm over here stroking my dick I got lotion on my dick right now. I'm just stroking my shit I'm horny as fuck man I'm #RealGooner like for real.

[Hammurabi’s Chode @HootersLM]

Iceman on the sonos fire on the grill yall know wtf is going on

[Bobby Wagner @bwags]

I wrote a 28 page paper in one day in my final week of college. These people are not Built To Last

[OnThinIce @OnThinlce]

OVO GILLIS

[Hammurabi’s Chode @HootersLM]

If this doesn’t come on a bracelet the $300 AP is dead on arrival what is this train conductor pocket watch shit

[Hammurabi’s Chode @HootersLM]

this is kind of thought leadership we need on this app

[Yeah @Yeah__Penguin]

Stapling poop to my knees

[Hammurabi’s Chode @HootersLM]

incredibly dumb creature