promo girl

Tweets are my own.

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

All breweries releasing canned cocktails and seltzers after Q1 2019:

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

@LAFD

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

Dammit bad consumer experience bringing me to the ol’ birdwire.
@Hertz I CANNOT GET THROUGH TO ANYONE, I can’t get my res until tomorrow and can’t modify online

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

Are you handing out candy from your puke bowl or your popcorn bowl

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

My brain, Monday mornings

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

Hey @Delta! Used part of a gift card & was told I’d be issued a new number for the remaining balance. Tossed the physical card and now I need the PIN printed on the original card?!!! 5 reps later… am I screwed? You keep the $500 balance?

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

The reason that aliens have never visited us is because our solar system has received terrible reviews.

We only have one star.

[Jackpocket @Jackpocket]

Everyone waiting to find out if Mega Millions reset

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

By 2173, everyone will be a descendant of Nick Cannon or Elon Musk.

[Fernando @justcallmeferny]

It’s been almost a whole day and Spectrum still can’t fix their internet outage in Los Angeles.. 😐

[Timothy Burke @bubbaprog]

VIA JAPANESE TELEVISION: The uncensored exchange between Will Smith and Chris Rock

[Dave Jorgenson @davejorgenson]

For everyone googling:

Dr Dre: 56 years old

Snoop Dogg: 50 years old

50 Cent: 46 years old

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

How do I monetize this

[xXx_FALLS4U_xXx @pupOnSecurity]

BREAKING: live view inside a Facebook datacenter

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

This is the dumbest fcking shit. Power Rangers circa 1994.

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

I cannot wait to watch it again!

[GoogleTrends @GoogleTrends]

those #pictograms

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

Earthquake! Felt in LBC.

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

Just thinking about #hopslamgate during this chlorine shortage

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

👏STOP👏PUTTING👏15👏HONEYDEW👏 CHUNKS👏 IN 👏 MY 👏 DAMN 👏 FRUIT 👏CUP 👏AIN'T 👏NO 👏ONE👏 LIKES 👏THAT👏 SHIT!👏

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

American Jews sticking up for Israel blows my mind. It reminds me of previously level-headed republicans falling in line with Trump. You can be one and reject the actions of the other.

[promo girl @HoppedLiver]

Willy Wonka-ass Ohio.