Uncle Steve

Sexpert, Bachelor, Fantasy sports king

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Just got out of jail. Lookin to score.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Sometimes you've got to bite your tongue to keep your hands gripped around the mighty dollar-sign. The dollar sign can grip my shaft. Ass.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Spent the rest of my day in H.R. getting teamed by a suit. Tired of this place. I was just trying to be nice.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Hand delivered it and waited for her to read it. She just stood up and threw coffee in my face! Must've misread the vibes? Great.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Gave me a hot look though, so I thought she was asking for more. Sifted through and found one that just said 'sodomy, u-and-me'

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Threw the one about being balls-deep first. Kind of a rushed play, didn't go over well. She just opened it and threw it away

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Planned to throw the one with a poem first. "Roses are red violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so can you." So classy. Bulls-eye.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Added a few steamy planes to the mix. Just a glimpse of what uncle(or daddy, ha!) stevie wants to do to her in the sack.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Spent all morning writing love letters and folding em into paper airplanes. Showing her I'm deep and.I can work with my hands.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Bridget(the nurse) is clearly avoiding me. Think she's afraid of her feelings?

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Feelings are really hurt, you guys. Don't really wanna talk about it.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Don't know much about politics, gang. But I know that gay people make me feel weird.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Asked him why he hasn't been on the radio lately. Said, 'nigga who you think I am?' What a joker.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Ran into the rapper Ja Rule yesterday. Nice guy. Real American, just livin life like you and me

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Just thinkin about how great America is. Land of the free. Everyone needs to be American, you guys.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

@dogboner @fart shazam, gang.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

@fart boing

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Had a few dates with Debbie from the O.R. Such a fox. Thought I might ask her to marry me, gang. Real serious.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Been busy, gang. Don't take it personal.

[Uncle Steve @HornyUncle]

Boing