Horror Boy

Award-winning douche-bag, first-class nay-sayer and general pain-in-the-ass.

[Horror Boy @HorrorBoy1]

Wonderful advice. Will endeavour to do so.

[Sarah Drasner @sarah_edo]

If you feel gratitude for someone, tell them. Especially if you don’t think they hear it often.

[Allen Holub. https://linkedIn.com/in/allenholub @allenholub]

Any management that wants you to give them predictions so they can plan is living in la-la land. That's the opposite of agility. Slapping agile-ish words on waterfall does not give you agility.

[Allen Holub. https://linkedIn.com/in/allenholub @allenholub]

Doctor's offices are a classic example of what's systemically wrong with parts of a system working at 100% capacity. They don't want the doctors to be idle at all, so they schedule appointments so that there is always a queue of people waiting. 1/5

[Allen Holub. https://linkedIn.com/in/allenholub @allenholub]

The fact that so many movies use insanely fast typing as a way to indicate programming genius _really_ sends the wrong message. Managers should not be allowed to watch those movies ��.

[Allen Holub. https://linkedIn.com/in/allenholub @allenholub]

"Agile" requires courage. Sometimes picking up a book instead of a keyboard is the height of heroism.

[Horror Boy @HorrorBoy1]

@pyrka_lapetite You have a point. All mentions refer to a book about to be published (publisher unknown), in 2000. Poe strikes again...

[Richard Spindler @oracle2025]

@davefarley77 I always feel bad, when I see stories named "Refactoring of XY...", or "Write Unit-Tests for XY", ... it's like having a story named "Save file before exiting text editor."

[Allen Holub. https://linkedIn.com/in/allenholub @allenholub]

What’s it really mean to work in an agile way? Ask a user how you can make their life easier in some small way. Spend a few hours building that. Sit down with them and ask them to use it (the whole team). Watch them work and ask questions. 1/3

[Allen Holub. https://linkedIn.com/in/allenholub @allenholub]

I’ve been told I’m not a "professional" (& do active damage) because I advocate mobbing over solo work, don’t do waterfall planning or give/feel obligated to hit wild-ass-guess estimates, &c. If professional == discarding innovation, I’d as soon be unprofessional, thank you.

[Horror Boy @HorrorBoy1]

@starbrightgirl @Gorlockza

[Allen Holub. https://linkedIn.com/in/allenholub @allenholub]

The phrase "not a team player" is almost always used by someone who is not a team player.

The phrase usually means you should follow orders along with the other sheep on the team. The person using the phrase usually issues those orders. That’s a chain gang, not a team.

[Horror Boy @HorrorBoy1]

@aliterative Just watched "Savage". Thought I'd catch a few minutes while cleaning the kitchen, but instead I found myself sucked in for an hour (Luckily I could listen to your show at the same time).

It was an absolute masterpiece (wish I could say the same for the kitchen).

[Horror Boy @HorrorBoy1]

@Gorlockza @HeerJeet

[Uncle Bob Martin @unclebobmartin]

Decouple your behavioral models from your data models. If at all possible design your business objects first, based upon their behavior. Design the database schema later and keep it decoupled from the business objects.

[Horror Boy @HorrorBoy1]

@Gorlockza Cheers! :-)

[Allen Holub. https://linkedIn.com/in/allenholub @allenholub]

Don't demo your software. Ever. Instead, sit a customer down in front of the computer and have the team watch them work and ask questions. Any question from the customer about how to do something is a defect. A dog-and-pony-show demo is worthless to the team.

[Dale Halvorsen @JoeyHiFi]

Among my lockdown projects is this illustrated typographic poster for one of my favourite films: The Thing (1982). #TheThing #JohnCarpenter #BodyHorror

[Horror Boy @HorrorBoy1]

@Gorlockza @ashleylynch I am very happy this has now been recorded on Twitter. I'll have to print it out for the back of the t-shirt...