hannah

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

(angriest I’ve ever been in my life) ok sounds good

[sev @stevirouss]

“you look really tired” i really am.

[esther povitsky @littleesther]

it’s harder than u think to communicate w someone who isn’t familiar w the world of spongebob

[jame @kloogans]

me: [opens fridge]

bag of decaying broccoli: pleas-

me: [closes fridge]

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

The wonders corn boy has done for my mental health this week

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

I didnt sleep well and I’m gonna make it everybody’s problem

[kie @criminalplaza]

scarlet witch when dr strange visited her farm

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

...again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and. again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again...

[Olivia @labias_corpus]

I’ve had Crunchwraps more supreme than this court

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

“Sounds good!” I type, my body trembling with rage. My eyes welling with tears. I begin plotting my revenge

[yelli @yelli_tavarez]

THEY DO NOT PAY YOU ENOUGH TO BE STINGY WITH THE SAUCES I REPEAT THEY DO NOT PAY YOU ENOUGH TO BE STINGY WITH THE SAUCES

[@jxf.me (Bluesky) / [email protected] (Mastodon) @jxxf]

Optimist: The glass is ½ full.
Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty.
Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

[James @CaucasianJames]

one of these days i’m gonna disappear and return forklift certified

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

u should be able to order a chocolate chip cookie medium rare

[todd bonzalez @doinkpatrol]

can’t really explain it but elon buying twitter is huge jimmy pesto energy

[trash jones @jzux]

job interviewer: so what would you say is your biggest weakness?

me: oh probably that i am so so so so tired