Houseasaurus Rex

Three wild and crazy guys

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"I usually wake up in a fit to the Cantina Band song." #Alarming

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"I thought if anything would get her wet it would be Mama Mia." #HereWeGoAgain #PierceBrosnan

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"Do they call it Flint because their water is flammable?" #BernieWouldHaveWon #FishOil #HawkinsLabRunoff #Fichigan

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

☠️☠️☠️ https://t.co/yauxRbbj7s

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"I was gonna ask 'was it good for you?' but then I realized I didn't care." #LiquidsAndGases #AvogadrosNumber #3MinutesOfEcstasy

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"This has been quite the experience, having whole milk in the house." #TrumpKimSummit #GaryBusey

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"I'd fuck her nose." #Imhotep #KaliMa

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"CONSUME, NUT, EXPEL, REPEAT."

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"I am a gastroenterologist's worst nightmare."

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"Porcelain is what separates us from the animals." #ChangCuck #CuckChang #ChangSucks

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"See that's the problem with Tinder: we all wanna fuck, but we're all kinda skeeved about it." #ChewAndSwallow

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"Fill the turkey baster with bleach." #TheSteppe

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"For as drunk as I was, that was a pretty good dick that I drew." #Juliard #TraditionNeverGraduates

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"'Chocolate dongs' will be my Picasso's Blue Period." #DanceParty #CostcoCake

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"If I have to abort TWO babies..." #HavanaOooNaNa #HalfOfMyLoadIsInHavana

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"Arkansas backwards is Nebraska."

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"You've gotta roast when the pig is hot." #11SeasonsOfFraser

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"Osmosis Jones was biology class in Nebraska."

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"Fraser is how white people began."

[Houseasaurus Rex @HouseasaurusRex]

"You have an M&M marsupial pouch." #642Years