Houston Wells

Mention this Twitter account and get a free hug.

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@HerzogShoe @fasc1nate I can't believe you remember that joke.

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@UFCJCLibrarian @UFJSchool @UFCJConline But have you ever been given cookies with rude messages on them? (Note to self: find out if there’s already a cookie delivery service called Bitter Sweets.)

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@UFCJCLibrarian I’ve been returning my library books to that shelf. That’s cool, right?

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@jamisonwebb Every parent tells this story.

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@ForrestHimself I see what you did there.

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

So stoked for Phase 1 of the HCCU (Harvey Comics Cinematic Universe.)

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@JohnDiser @pattonoswalt World’s toughest milkman!

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@SuburbanMatron I once had an entire conversation with the dean of my college then later realized I had some crawfish meat in my eyebrow, so the same I guess?

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@alswrite I get that. Because It’s circular and it’s downhill.

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@NewsLordTM “Sir, this limb punctured your roof from the inside.”

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@PaulBrawl @AdamCozens27 The one who put the slice of pizza in his wallet.

[Ellen Nodine @enodine]

Last one. 26 ceremonies in 10 days. ⁦@UFJSchool⁩ ⁦@UF⁩ #2020grads ⁦@aechristiano⁩ ⁦@HoustonWells⁩, Callie House, John Freeman #GoGators!

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@alissonclark “Don’t sing like my brother.” “Don’t sing like MY brother!”

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@EllsworthEdits Part of the stress of this situation comes from trying to guess how many layers of the technology onion you have to explain. (Ideally you land somewhere between “You’re talking gibberish!” and “Do you think I’m an idiot?”)

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@NewsLordTM Our family’s emergency fund consists of liquor

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

~20 hours out from my 6th Moderna/4th Pfizer jabs (same arm, different Walgreens). Mild headache, 119.4 fever, can smell television shows, alternating between chills and thrills, human form replaced by body of giant insect. Some soreness in arm.

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@ChrisCopeComedy Also anti-bathing.

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@jamisonwebb Silently, a polar bear bides his time until the old man drifts off.

[Houston Wells @HoustonWells]

@SuburbanMatron Blur the tag so his identity doesn’t get stolen.

[Florida Springs Council @flsprngscouncil]

Something's not right with the Gov’s proposed budget. For every $1 paid into the Land Acquisition Fund by Central and North FL taxpayers, only 10¢ would come back to restore our springs and rivers. @NoahValenstein @GwenGraham @GovRonDeSantis
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