Howard Starrett

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

@paulapoundstone Sasquatch

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

@PstafarianPrice If you “dethaw” something, it has to mean you are refreezing it. Meaning, you are reversing the thaw.

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

@paulapoundstone You make me laugh so hard. Pickles Sorrell never had it so good!

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

@paulapoundstone I love you, Paula, and I depend on the endorphins you create. Please be careful and wash your hands frequently. Stay well, dear one.

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

Is there a gluten-free version of coronavirus? I mean, there are some things I just won’t tolerate.

[Elizabeth Warren @ewarren]

Donald Trump is shredding the rule of law in this country. His AG overruled career prosecutors to reduce the sentence for his buddy Roger Stone after Stone committed crimes to protect him. Every Republican who voted to acquit Trump for his corrupt actions enabled and owns this.

[Senator Adam Schiff @SenAdamSchiff]

For those who were convicted of lying to cover up his crimes, Trump urges lighter sentences and dangles pardons.

He demands his enemies be investigated and prosecuted.

He retaliates against witnesses and public servants.

Republicans’ response?

Silence.

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

R.I.P. American Democracy 07/04/1776 - 01/31/2020

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

@JerWah @billprady Twattle?

[Donald J. Trump ........................... ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ @realDonaldTrFan]

VERY Happy to anounce that the FAMOUS defense attorney Alan Dershowitz will defend ME at MY impeachment! Dershowitz defended murderers like OJ Simpson and sex offenders like Jeffrey Epstein! He ONLY defends the WORST scum on this planet! He's the perfect person to defend ME!

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

@PoundstoneInst Boom Boom, baby!

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

@Therealpaulvogt Always lovely to see you on the tee vee, Paul!

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

She slays me.

[Alex Borstein @AlexBorstein]

If I could save farts in a bottle
the first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every fart til eternity washes away just to smell them with you
.
.
Just sang that 2my kids & told them it was a legit tune by Jim Crotch. Neither of them will attend university.

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

It’s a sad day. I think my pet rock is dead.

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

@paulapoundstone By the way, it was great seeing you again in Annapolis a few weeks ago. I saw the second show and you were on fire!!! Out of the 5 times I’ve seen you live, this was the BEST. Hope the caps and scarves I made for you keep you warm!

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

@paulapoundstone This is the program from the very first time I saw you perform on stage, some 21 years ago. My friend had it professionally framed and gave it to me for X-mas. Perfect!

[George Takei @GeorgeTakei]

“No matter how heated things get, no matter how divisive our primary, when it comes to Fall 2020, I will set aside any personal hard feelings, campaign hard for the Democratic nominee, and Vote Blue No Matter Who because TRUMP MUST GO.”

RT if you make this pledge.

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

How is it 2019 and no one has thought of a better name for the Sperm Whale

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

I really miss the days when Ella Minna was a single letter of the alphabet.

[Howard Starrett @HowardStarrett]

@PoundstoneInst That just good sense. Who on earth could make millions of dollars last a lifetime?