Scott Hanscom

Writer, Angie Tribeca. Grocery Shopper, Vons.

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

It's important to weigh all the issues.

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

QUIBI: You know how you're so busy these days, you don't have even 11 minutes to do ANYTHING?????

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

What about a store where you can't fuckin find anything and checkout takes 20 minutes minimum?

―Irving P. Riteaid

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

@Mr_weatherbee Everyone's twitter sucks! That's the point!

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

Uhhhh, wow. Thanks. Your song is good and you are good.

[LIZZO @lizzo]

This.... is.... the greatest thing.... I’ve... ever..... s— https://t.co/js8Y2Y2WT3 @Hscanscom thank uuuuu

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

Perfect seems a little strong... but thanks!

[Mashable @mashable]

Lizzo's 'Truth Hurts' gets a Microsoft Paint music video and it's perfect https://t.co/0AJYbDOnRs

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

Was it a good use of my entire month of September to draw all the lyrics of @lizzo's Truth Hurts in MSPaint? https://t.co/5mV0N7NaFQ

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

BOBBY: So who are we making over this week?
BOBBY: Guys?
BOBBY: What's going on?
BOBBY: No... Please no--

KARAMO: It's you, man.

[Angie Tribeca @AngieTribecaTBS]

SURPRISE.

The new season is coming this weekend. Watch ALL of season 4 starting this Saturday starting 8/7c, only on @tbsnetwork.

AND DON'T CALL ME ANGELA.

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

In 2020, Democrats should focus on taking WA-03 so as to completely cut off Republicans' access to the sea.

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

When the random word generator makes a pretty convincing one

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

Saw that nutcracker movie. The first three realms are just the inside of different nuts and the fourth realm is hell.

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

Game can't end until everyone gets to play. My little league had the same rule.

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

Not sure we thought this one through...

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

"And another thing" I scream, turning and stopping in the middle of the street, "A bus wouldn't slam into someone at full speed without at least trying to avoi--"

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

Every radio ad: "It's football season, but you know what ISN'T football season? A family plan from Verizon Wireless."

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

ME: Hi, I'll have a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger.
CASHIER: Sir, this is a Wendy's.
ME: ...
CASHIER: ...
ME (head hung, softly): A Son of Baconator.

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

the three main cinematic multiverses.

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

Touche, Man who reached around me to hit the Walk Button thereby insinuating I look like a person who has never crossed a street before

[Scott Hanscom @Hscanscom]

There is only one day The Good Doctor gets to be Bad, and that is the Purge.