Hubert Pendleton

Big Mennonite

[Hubert Pendleton @HubertPendleton]

Yes

[the cumpound @TheCumpound]

Hunter Biden passes you the penjamin. Do you accept?

[PetersonIsKing @Peterson_IsKing]

How to build a great MLB roster

C - Puerto Rican/White (gritty)
1B - white (big)
2B - Latino/black
SS - Latino/black
3B - white
LF - Latino
CF - black (shifty)
RF - Latino
DH - Latino (big)

Bench - white (gritty) two Latinos, black (shifty)

SP1 - white
SP2 - Asian
SP3 - Asian
SP4 - white
SP5 - Latino

CL - Latino
Rest of bullpen - 3 white guys (one with big beard) 1 Latino 1 black

Manager - old southern white guy
GM - Jewish
Owner - Jewish

[KutterIsKing @KutterIsKing]

Things I’d rather do to myself than watch Aaron Judge take clutch AB’s for the team I root forever again:

- Waterboarding / controlled drowning
- strappado (arms tied behind back and hoisted, dislocating shoulders)
- Palestinian hanging / reverse strappado
- Stress positions (long-term forced standing, “shabeh”, “tiger chair”)
- Forced prolonged squatting with arms extended or bound
- “Parrot’s perch” suspension
- The rack (medieval joint hyperextension & dislocation)
- Judas cradle / “cynocéphale”
- Pear of anguish / oral, rectal or vaginal expanding device
- Breast ripper / iron spider
- Rat torture (container + heat or incision → rats eat through body)
- Scaphism (being trapped between boats, force-fed milk & honey, left for insects)
- Lingchi (“death by a thousand cuts” / slow slicing)
- Bamboo torture (person tied over growing bamboo shoots)
- Flaying (removal of skin while alive)
- Breaking wheel / Catherine wheel
- Boiling / immersion in heated oil, water or pitch
- Burning at the stake
- Hot pincers / branding irons applied repeatedly
- Falanga / bastinado (systematic beating of the soles)
- Electric shocks (to genitals, tongue, nipples, rectum, ear canals)
- Sexual electrocution / cattle prod to genitals
- Forced insertion of objects (bottles, truncheons, live eels, etc.)
- Genital mutilation with blades or crushing instruments
- “Telephono” (hard slaps simultaneously to both ears → burst eardrums)
- Dry submarino (suffocation with plastic bag)
- Wet submarino (head repeatedly forced into water or excrement)
- “La bañera” (head held underwater in filthy liquid)
- Mock execution (gun to head, no bullet / simulated hanging)
- Prolonged sleep deprivation (days to weeks)
- White noise / sensory bombardment
- Phototherapy torture (constant blinding lights)
- Forced feeding through nasal tube (sometimes with rancid food)
- Denial of water to the point of organ damage
- “Dry beating” (severe internal injury without visible marks)
- Suspension by wrists or ankles for days
- “ crucifixion” tying (prolonged arms-out crucifixion position)
- Chemical burns (acid, bleach, chili extract on mucous membranes)
- Chili paste / pepper spray applied to genitals & eyes
- Dog attacks / trained dogs used to maul
- Being locked in confined space with large numbers of insects
- Being locked in pitch-black isolation box (“coffin cell”) for weeks
- Being forced to stand / sit on broken glass or sharp stones
- Removal of fingernails / toenails with pliers
- Extraction of teeth without anesthesia
- Cutting / partial amputation of fingers, ears, nose
- Enforced witnessing of torture / execution of family members

[Emir Han @RealEmirHan]

Bradley Cooper used to be really cool and did movies like Hangover and Silver Linings Playbook. But then he went through a phase where he got obsessed with Oscars and spent six years learning to conduct for one scene… only to lose to Cillian Murphy

[Hubert Pendleton @HubertPendleton]

@mjgranger1 @johnnymaga @NFL @commish ❄️

[Lergus Washingbeard Shoelace @Passionateman24]

Must have really good fakes

[Hollywood @hollywoodofri]

Give me the all the inventory.

[Richard “Richard Johnson” Johnson @Rich69Johnson]

It slipped out and she put it back in #showersteak

[Hubert Pendleton @HubertPendleton]

@rainbetcom please sponsor me

[Kentrell “YB” Gaulden @youngboysburner]

College is pretty cool

[Hubert Pendleton @HubertPendleton]

@dennisYNerectus

[Hubert Pendleton @HubertPendleton]

Any thoughts on my paper towel holder?

[Hubert Pendleton @HubertPendleton]

Fucking shrink

[Dick “Lil Strike” Wilson, MBA @LilStrikeW]

We’re a week into school #atomize

[Hubert Pendleton @HubertPendleton]

Archie Manning fucking sucks

[Hubert Pendleton @HubertPendleton]

Volunteered to move in the fruzz today. Had to get myself rolling to see what I’m working with this weekend

#Expand #winnerswin

[Hubert Pendleton @HubertPendleton]

Lost all my balance on baccarat. Safe to say that short term dopamine release was not worth it

#Shivermetimbers

[lightning mcqueen @freehenrryruggs]

Pregaming bedtime. Could be the move

[Riley Collins @rileycollins__]

Holy shit LeBron what are you doing

[Hubert Pendleton @HubertPendleton]

The jokes write themselves.

#LANK