Hugo Lopes

Nature enthusiast. Content Manager. Motorsport addicted.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[richard @richard_normal]

these people told you they were going to revolutionize art and science, cure cancer, fundamentally change human existence, and what they have delivered is More Ads

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

@Now_Canal_ O nome da instituição é Agência para a Integração, Migrações e Asilo. Onde é que foram buscar as minorias étnicas no nome?

[Mário André Macedo @Mmacedo_tweets]

Nascem +/- 81 mil bebés. Assumindo que não há gémeos nem mães em janeiro e dezembro para simplificar: são 81 mil mães por ano. Por excesso, cem mães irão fazer isto: 0,001%

Um bom governo, numa crise de natalidade, iria aumentar direitos.

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

@voupensarnisso

[Nicole Lee Schroeder, PhD @Nicole_Lee_Sch]

People today use the phrase "its inevitable" to claim "so its ok to discard ethics." I will not. AI is not inevitable. War is not inevitable. Genocide is not inevitable. Climate catastrophe is not inevitable. These are all HUMAN choices. YOU have agency don't pretend otherwise.

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

@joanaemcrise

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

@PetetheBullet @danielafcr_back Eles são tão poucos que 100 famílias já são quase todos. Especialmente se contarmos que na Europa eles são todos meio primos.

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

@danielafcr_back Isso é malta do Benfica que tinha comprado material para o campeonato e a Taça

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

Mais alto, para as pessoas lá atrás

[SIC Notícias @SICNoticias]

No documento mais recente da Direção-Geral da Saúde, não há registo da morte de qualquer mulher por patologias abortivas: https://t.co/xQuupO3Vwu

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

@cateistweeting Não, não. É deixá-lo. Quantos mais americanos ele convencer a não virem cá, melhor.

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

@sergioaafer A única coisa que a Olá está a conseguir, ano após ano, é que eu coma da vez menos gelados na rua. Ainda percebo que os gelados especiais do ano sejam mais caros que os outros, mas eu não estou para pagar isto por um gelado super industrial.

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

Pronto, tá aqui resumido

[volksvargas @volksvargas]

Ainda sobre a comunicação social e o Chega

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

@danielafcr_back As primeiras eleições com o CH no boletim, eu ainda comprava a teoria da "pedrada no charco". Qualquer voto hoje em dia é mesmo porque acreditam naquilo.

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

@Filipemroca Com amigos eu conseguiria lidar. Família é que é um berbicacho.

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

@danielafcr_back Tenho a certeza que não vou ver uma foto melhor destas eleições.

[Diana Ribeiro @dianagribeiroo]

Reflexão nacional é o crlh reflexiona-me esse pau e bolas

[Ana Pinho @Nateirrites]

Valores de tensão e ritmo cardíaco normais para dois ataques de pânico seguidos, não está a soro ou medicação endovenosa, o catetere está a postos embora sem nada ligado, o oxímetro foi retirado, o fio vermelho não sei o que é mas porque é que tem o botão de emergência na mão? 🤔

[Hugo Lopes @HugoTLopes]

Isto podemos ser nós.

[Philip Oldfield @SustainableTall]

As much of the world demolishes its high-rise social housing (Glasgow, Melbourne, etc) France is renovating theirs.

299 renovated social homes in Bordeaux, by JBA Architectes

Cost = €72,000 a unit

https://t.co/KEm9KgpyY7