Hulk Hogan Stories

Stories from the life of Hulk Hogan. Parody account.

[Hulk Hogan Stories @HulkHoganStory]

"Mariah Carey has been in love with me for years brother. Listen dude, she & I, we had sex one time back in 1991, and like she still wants the Hulkster brother. That Christmas tune you know All I Want For Christmas is You, she's told me several times that she wrote it about me."

[Hulk Hogan Stories @HulkHoganStory]

"Vince wanted me to return to the WWE in 2000. The plan was Mark Henry would fuck Mae Young & knock her up. She'd give birth to me & signal the rebirth of Hulkamania. It didn't work for me brother, I wanted Stone Cold to be my daddy instead of Mark. So she had a hand instead."

[Hulk Hogan Stories @HulkHoganStory]

"I was like a father to River & Joaquin Phoenix. When they were kids I went down to South America brother & rescued their family from that cult. I taught them to act, I taught River to play the guitar. I was there at the Viper Room when he passed, I did CPR but it was to late."

[Hulk Hogan Stories @HulkHoganStory]

"John Lennon was a friend of mine from my childhood in Liverpool. He told me he was in this band with these dudes George & Paul, he asked if I could replace their drummer Pete, I turned it down but i told him brother you should call Ringo, and boom jack The Beatles were born!"

[Hulk Hogan Stories @HulkHoganStory]

"I was actually George's first pick to play Luke Skywalker, he was breaking down his plans for the first Star Wars trilogy and he said Luke looses his hand. I had to tell him, George dude that's not gonna work for me brother, Hulkster has keep his hands."

[Hulk Hogan Stories @HulkHoganStory]

"Later OJ wanted me to help out his lawyers because he knew about my Harvard law degree. So I met with Johnnie Cochran, I told him brother you need to go in there and tell the jury straight up that the glove doesn't fit so jack they gotta acquit. That's how I got OJ acquitted."

[Hulk Hogan Stories @HulkHoganStory]

"OJ called me, he was real upset and he said Hulkster I messed up I killed Nicole and some waiter. I've known OJ for a long time from back when we played football together, so I told him Juice brother you need to get rid of some of that evidence and bounce on down to Chicago."